Maybe the words were never uttered, but the impression has been given all of my life. By parents, family, spouses, the media, even friends have insinuated that I have to 'be' something else in order to be loveable. Then I perpetuated this onto my children (unwittingly). The GREAT news is that I call myself out on it now... I KNOW that I am lovable, I just need to quiet the voices inside my head that tell me differently. And help my kids to feel loved and supported, valued for who they are; instrinsically perfect just as they were created to be:themselves :)
I had (maybe still have) the impression that my parents didn't love my as much either. I can't remember ever hearing that. Even if my father said once I was all he lived for, I couldn't believe it since he surely didn't act like that. So I grew up and went my own way. Far from them and now I have children i tell them daily that i love them and try to give them as much attention as possible. Now i finally understand that he was telling the truth. Every parent loves his children. But everyone has a different background so different ways of (not) expressing it.
You really shouldn't pay much attention to what others are saying. They have all their background, their beliefs. If you conform to them, you will not be you anymore. Be who you are. With all your thoughts, beliefs, habits, dresscode, social behavior. It makes you you. Even if the whole world is saying something, then you might be a bit like they say. But it's your decision how you live. It's your experience. and you get to choose what you make of it. If it feels like you, just be you and you'll attract people like you...
It's really a funny question. We're all one, all connected. How can one be not lovable ?
Thank you for sharing your experience! It resonates with me so greatly.