lack of confidence.............yes...........again
Hello o-creators!
This is me again;) I seem to be very active and productive today;)
My problem is my lack of self-confidence with men..........yes. Not at home, not with friends, not at work in front of a crowd, but with men, in the street! What I have never been able to do is to walk in the street with my head up, facing other people.........the worst thing is when I see a handsome guy in the distance who is approaching me, I look down on the pavement, although I like him ( the guy, not the pavement) I am not even able to look at him, at his face and smile! I think I misse many oportunities because of my shyness.........in public places, too..........I just think I am not attractive enough.........I know it sounds strange, but I have this problem, my friends are surprised, they all smile to handsome passers-by, but me- pavement, always the pavement!
Do you have similar experience? Can you share? Is there any exercise I can do? I need help, or I will never meet my MR Right! He is not the pavement, for sure;)
This is me again;) I seem to be very active and productive today;)
My problem is my lack of self-confidence with men..........yes. Not at home, not with friends, not at work in front of a crowd, but with men, in the street! What I have never been able to do is to walk in the street with my head up, facing other people.........the worst thing is when I see a handsome guy in the distance who is approaching me, I look down on the pavement, although I like him ( the guy, not the pavement) I am not even able to look at him, at his face and smile! I think I misse many oportunities because of my shyness.........in public places, too..........I just think I am not attractive enough.........I know it sounds strange, but I have this problem, my friends are surprised, they all smile to handsome passers-by, but me- pavement, always the pavement!
Do you have similar experience? Can you share? Is there any exercise I can do? I need help, or I will never meet my MR Right! He is not the pavement, for sure;)
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sese O on
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I don't have the solution, but i'm waiting for the answers. I swear I was going to type a question very similar to this and then POW! Here it is.
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Permalink Reply by Dolores Dagenais on
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I've had this problem in the past, I use to be a much 'bigger' girl than i am now and it always made me very very self-doubting especially with the opposite sex. The only thing that use to help me was the 'fake it, 'til you make it' idea....I use to pretend I was a beautiful model on a fashion show catwalk...it put me in the mindset to keep my head up and look people in the eye.
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Permalink Reply by Ashwin on
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Dear Madam ,
This is Ashwin ( Psychology Trainer ) from www.WinTraining.in ( India ) . You have build up low esteem mind set from the childhood days.
This has become disempowering belief within yourself . I can do online Success Coaching . Pl do visit my web site www.WinTraining.in & email me : wintraining2020@yahoo.co.in or call me +91 93809 99420
You are manifesting what is happening in your mind
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Permalink Reply by Jill on
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Well, Im just wondering if you want to know what I think... I do have a question first though. What is causing you to be lacking? Is it FEAR? IF its FEAR, you need to ask yourself what you are afraid of? FEAR is one of those nasties that separates us from the Universe/GOD. Start there Alek. Ask yourself what is the cause for the lacking? I would be interested to know and many here can help if they knew. You are so beautiful and you have a fabulous smile. Hugs JILLY
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Permalink Reply by Shaman Kanowa on
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Wow... I know exactly what you are going through, I used to have the same problem for many years in my life. The way it worked for me, is I raised my head and realized that all these people are around are equal to me. You are not inferior to anyone, you are a powerful amazing wonderful human being! That is what you need to remember. Just keep your head up as much as you can, and keep yourself relaxed.
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Permalink Reply by Tan Wee Hung on
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Hahas. Just my two cents' worth. one of my friends got this pet phrase. Don't Shy, Just Do What You Enjoy Because You are not going to have another go at life!! anyway...
Hi people! I am new to cocreatingreality! I'm a psychology major student and I'm really interested in areas to improve life in general especially the psyche. I read about this theory that thinking about happy things make us happier and ACTING on it surely is REWARDING. I create a video for this on YouTube : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdXRl56JfTY please do view it, try it and tell me whether what i said is true or over-generalizing. I would REALLY appreciate your comments.
Cheers!
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Permalink Reply by alison on
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Just checked out your video..LOVED IT!!! Yip, it does make you think...im off to think about what makes me happy, it really is the little things I think.. I'm looking at my dog sleeping..he looks so cute, that makes me happy. Think I will put one of these videao together too, thanks for the inspiration, blessings to you.
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Permalink Reply by HappierThanGod on
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I have a friend who is shy who took improv classes. If you want to have fun, maybe you can try this. Who knows you can be an actress! My friend became a model and an actor!
I remember a British tv comedy I have seen about a guy who was so scared of interviews. What he did was imagine everyone was naked. (Not that there is something wrong with being naked). But in that show, it was suggested to him such that he felt more confident to look at people in the eye since they were naked and should be ashamed. The comedy ended with the guy being embarrassed himself as he saw in a mirror at the back of a panel of interviewers that he too was naked. The panelist were also a bunch of shy folks who used the same method.
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Permalink Reply by Aleksandra on
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Thank you all for your kind answers!
I think you are all RIGHT!
Tomorrow as I will be alking in the street I will make this experiment and stay in the moment and try to find out why I behave like this!
I will try to embrace my fear and look into the eyes of men! '' Look into the eyes of fear'' ;)
This will be a wonderful basic social skills exercise;) I am starting tomorrow, goal: look into the eyes of 10 guys I like and smile back! ha!
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Permalink Reply by Jenna Costo on
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Ok. I am going to give you my opinion here. This might sound strange and/or might be beneficial. But I am going to say this anyway. I believe that the more I give, the more I receive. And I can at least say that in the last few weeks and months my wisdom has grown soo much. I feel good about everything so I will share this secret of mine & I feel I’m not losing anything by telling you guys this because there is plenty for us all here.
OK, enough preamble. So I am the opposite of what you described yourself to be. I never look down ever. I have always had a superiority complex. I know that this is not perhaps right, perhaps ideally we can say that we are all equal. But when I say superior, its not that Im vane. Its not vanity. I am proud of myself but I also think I am royal and I don’t know how to put it, just that I feel high all the time..(no drugs)…just high with enthusiasm..
Anyway, so I have always been very comfortable flirting and I love it. Not that I do it all the time, but I love gorgeous men and I think Im very attractive and men have always been attracted to me. I don’t have to doubt it ever, I know that any man wants me. But I don’t want/desire every body. So when Im in the mood, and I see a guy walking towards me on a corridor or similar scenario, I don’t look down of course..but I just walk and sometimes if I feel like it I make eye contact and smile. My smile is always just a happy to be smile.. I guess Im smiling with my eyes pretty much all the time, Im a just happy person.
So, what you can take from here is that be yourself. And know that whatever you look like, you are beautiful. Beauty is both exterior and interior. Just focus on the good things in your life and you will be happy. So be happy. Men are attracted to women who love themselves. So do take care of yourself. Never go out with your nail polish looking anything less than perfect. Remember that men are only here to love us, admire us. We are the beautiful flowers in human form, and men are the bees that want to appreciate us. So be the flower, just be happy to be this beautiful person that you are, and do make eye contact with everybody and flash a smile. Its simple. And do talk to strangers as often as you feel like. Hope this helps someone.
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Hehe, thank you for your useful advice! I am starting tomorrow! Take care
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