lack of confidence.............yes...........again
Hello o-creators!
This is me again;) I seem to be very active and productive today;)
My problem is my lack of self-confidence with men..........yes. Not at home, not with friends, not at work in front of a crowd, but with men, in the street! What I have never been able to do is to walk in the street with my head up, facing other people.........the worst thing is when I see a handsome guy in the distance who is approaching me, I look down on the pavement, although I like him ( the guy, not the pavement) I am not even able to look at him, at his face and smile! I think I misse many oportunities because of my shyness.........in public places, too..........I just think I am not attractive enough.........I know it sounds strange, but I have this problem, my friends are surprised, they all smile to handsome passers-by, but me- pavement, always the pavement!
Do you have similar experience? Can you share? Is there any exercise I can do? I need help, or I will never meet my MR Right! He is not the pavement, for sure;)
This is me again;) I seem to be very active and productive today;)
My problem is my lack of self-confidence with men..........yes. Not at home, not with friends, not at work in front of a crowd, but with men, in the street! What I have never been able to do is to walk in the street with my head up, facing other people.........the worst thing is when I see a handsome guy in the distance who is approaching me, I look down on the pavement, although I like him ( the guy, not the pavement) I am not even able to look at him, at his face and smile! I think I misse many oportunities because of my shyness.........in public places, too..........I just think I am not attractive enough.........I know it sounds strange, but I have this problem, my friends are surprised, they all smile to handsome passers-by, but me- pavement, always the pavement!
Do you have similar experience? Can you share? Is there any exercise I can do? I need help, or I will never meet my MR Right! He is not the pavement, for sure;)
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jenna Costo on -
Ok. I am going to give you my opinion here. This might sound strange and/or might be beneficial. But I am going to say this anyway. I believe that the more I give, the more I receive. And I can at least say that in the last few weeks and months my wisdom has grown soo much. I feel good about everything so I will share this secret of mine & I feel I’m not losing anything by telling you guys this because there is plenty for us all here.
OK, enough preamble. So I am the opposite of what you described yourself to be. I never look down ever. I have always had a superiority complex. I know that this is not perhaps right, perhaps ideally we can say that we are all equal. But when I say superior, its not that Im vane. Its not vanity. I am proud of myself but I also think I am royal and I don’t know how to put it, just that I feel high all the time..(no drugs)…just high with enthusiasm..
Anyway, so I have always been very comfortable flirting and I love it. Not that I do it all the time, but I love gorgeous men and I think Im very attractive and men have always been attracted to me. I don’t have to doubt it ever, I know that any man wants me. But I don’t want/desire every body. So when Im in the mood, and I see a guy walking towards me on a corridor or similar scenario, I don’t look down of course..but I just walk and sometimes if I feel like it I make eye contact and smile. My smile is always just a happy to be smile.. I guess Im smiling with my eyes pretty much all the time, Im a just happy person.
So, what you can take from here is that be yourself. And know that whatever you look like, you are beautiful. Beauty is both exterior and interior. Just focus on the good things in your life and you will be happy. So be happy. Men are attracted to women who love themselves. So do take care of yourself. Never go out with your nail polish looking anything less than perfect. Remember that men are only here to love us, admire us. We are the beautiful flowers in human form, and men are the bees that want to appreciate us. So be the flower, just be happy to be this beautiful person that you are, and do make eye contact with everybody and flash a smile. Its simple. And do talk to strangers as often as you feel like. Hope this helps someone.
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Permalink Reply by Aleksandra on -
Hehe, thank you for your useful advice! I am starting tomorrow! Take care
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Permalink Reply by Angela on -
Hello Aleksandra!
Self confidence is a big problem for so many people...
What you think about yourself and what you think about men?
What you are afraid of?
I suggest you EFT!! www.emofree.com
It is a wonderful technique for release emotions that are inside of us, blocking ourselves to be at our best!
You can see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH-vYHz-qCM and see a little bit about EFT and do a tapping for confidence!
Send me a message if you have doubts.
Smiles
Angela
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Permalink Reply by Jilly on -
Hi Jenna, This advise made me smile for sure. I am much like you. Confident in oneself. Thanks for taking the time to write this. Im sure it will inspire someone to look for the confidence that they have always had and didnt know it. :) JILLY ♥
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Permalink Reply by Tiffany Ananda on -
Hey Aleksandra,
First of all I love the spelling of your name- secondly this is my point of view- take what you want and leave the rest for someone else.
I feel you do not lack confidence with handsome men in the street- you are growing through confidence with yourself. You give the man in the street more power than you give yourself -I suggest you identify what's beautiful about you and start celebrating yourself.
example: if you love to dance or hike, or write poetry start engaging in what makes your heart sing and going to places where you can share these experiences with others- from sharing you will meet like minded people and feel validated about who you are.
When you are on the street you are thinking more about the man than the woman you are- celebrate you sensuality, beauty, life.
An exercise to use is a 10 minute meditation/ visualization
-set a timer for 10 minutes
- sit in a relaxing space
- play music that makes you happy
-look at pictures that create the warmth of Aleksandra living a happy and joyous life
-state to yourself: Everything works in Aleksandra's favor both consciously and unconsciously - Aleksandra deserves to be happy
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Permalink Reply by Aleksandra on
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Thank you for ur advice. I will use it. Thank you for taking the time and writing me, it is really nice of u! I am sending you love!
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Permalink Reply by Crystal Woods on -
Hi Aleksandra.
I did this for a long time, after my background taught me I had no value.
It did take a lot of work, but one of the quickest tips to help is to wear tshirts that catch the attention - especially ones with interesting slogans etc. You'll soon see people are looking at your tshirt, not you, and it can free you up to look at them (as well as start a conversation on what it says, as you get more confident).
I notice you have long hair. One of the things I found when I was working on being shy was that I was hiding behind my hair - I always tended to flip it forward and 'cover myself' with it. So, over time, from back length, I cut it to shoulder length, then jaw length, and finally ended up going all the way with a number 2 buzz cut. By the end of that, there was no way I COULD be shy anymore. (It was also very interesting in how much it freed me up time-wise. Didn't need shampoo anymore. Didn't have to worry about brushing/combing it, or wind mussing me up, etc.)
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Permalink Reply by Francisco on -
Hi Aleksandra,
Do you know Red Grammer? He is a singer and he sings beautiful songs for the kids. My daughter is a little shy too and she loves that song. I will give you the link in youtube. You are a wonderful and unique human being.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPg7i9nIEf0 (You are wonderful) - Attachments:
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03 Say Hi! 1.m4a, 3.7 MB
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Permalink Reply by Ermangarde on -
Hmm... might I ask... what makes you feel so "unworthy" or "worthwhile"?
I think maybe you should ask yourself the question "Why not me?"
It tends to help a lot and clear any blockages holding you back. :)
Remember, you are beautiful .. inside.. and out.
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