Privacy with Journaling
Hi...I wanted to start this discussion about privacy with journaling. I have this new boyfriend who has expressed his desire to live together. :) I love the idea of living with him. And I have this tiny concern about my journals. I love to jjournal and I find such a great relief and my subconscious mind just flows and I can write on and on for hours. I really enjoy this activity. I also like to go back to my old journals and read what I wrote six months ago. It helps me reflect and have new wonderful ideas. Or just makes me feel better to see how far I have come. I like the idea of journaling to my heart's content and keeping all my journals so I can read them over and over. But also I let my thoughts flow freely, and there are no limits. I love the freedom. But I am not at all comfortable with anyone reading my journals.
Does anyone have ideas about what I can do so I can keep journaling, yet my boyfriend never discovers it. He knows I am a bit spiritual but I am not sure how much I would like to share with him. Even in my wildest dreams, I would like me to have my privacy and my freedom and he can have his and journal too, if he likes. Any advice? I especially want to ask those who journal and who have a husband or boyfriend or significant other living with them.
thank you for your help and support.
Jenna
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jill on
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A lock and Key and a miniture trunk maybe...until you are ready to share and you know the relationship is right.
Gosh Jenna, its been a long time for this ole gal. I've been married for almost 30 years and there is not much I can keep from my other half.
Maybe someone else will step forward to share some advice that has been in a similar situation.
Blessings, J
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Permalink Reply by brandy ryan on
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hi jenna :) my bf and I don't live together but he is at my place almost ALL the time. I don't journal on and on but I am extremely private and I have a few books lying around with 'odd' things in them such as my book of positive aspects, appreciation lists, book of expenditures and checks from the prosperity game, etc. also, all the stuff on my computer is in plain sight with shortcuts and all (including multiple vids of alien entities and rough sounding song outlines). and I don't share this site or loa stuff with him either. he's open-minded and awesome and he has a good idea of the things I do and what I believe, but I am not about to give it all up to him. my point is, he NEVER looks at my stuff. never. never! he just won't, because he knows how exceptionally private I prefer to be. I don't even share the music I write unless it's absolutely complete. or the youtube videos I make. he accepts it and says that he knows I will tell him when I am ready. and I might. my other point is that my expectation of complete privacy is respected. expectation of privacy and belief that I deserve it have attracted me a completely trustworthy mate. I guess what I am saying is that same old thing about vibrational expectation. lay out your expectations of him and expect them to be followed. and they will :)
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Permalink Reply by Jenna Costo on
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thanks for the response Brandy & Jilly.
I very much like the idea of expecting that my privacy will be respected. My bf is opposite. He tells me Im so mysterious..LOL...but I think it is possible to maintain my privacy. But still if hypothetically he breaks the lock and reads everything I would be very uncomfortable. or if I die before him...oh gosh ! I guess I will find a solution...:) & Jilly you inspire me so much. I think I have found my match. & he feels the same way. im looking forward to becoming an old gal like you with him..:)
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Jenna, I giggled when you said "Breaks the lock". It reminded me of a day when we were still living in Hawaii. Hubby and I were not married yet. I had just returned from a day on the beach and found him laying on the floor in the livingroom going thru some of my old picture albums with sissors in hand. He was cutting away at the pictures.(he looked like edward sissor hands) If there was a picture of me and a guy, there was now a lovely picture with a hole in it where my husband cut the picture of the guy out, leaving only me or whatever left in the picture. I guess he knew we were forever at that point.
Example:
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Permalink Reply by michael on
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I am happy for you, Jenna it sounds like you found someone special and moving in together is a big step. Here is the straight goods on living together. Eventually, you guys will get comfortable and you will discover more about each other, good and bad. The time to be assertive is before you move in together, not after. If you like journaling and dont want him to read them......tell him in no uncertain terms. You can sweet about it, and if he loves you, he will respect your privacy.
MIchael
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I agree with Mich here on this one. Set the ground rules first. I would go as far as to say, set the stage now about everything you can think of that might come up. It is best you learn a bit about eachother now instead of later.
Also being yourself is first and formost.
At first glance (especially in the courting stages of a relationship) one tends to be another person to please their suiter. Example: (now dont laugh) batting of the eyes for women and talking in a sweet voice. Throwing that chest out, and walking a certain way for guys. This is not the real world for most and being yourself is important.
DeMartini's book "Heart of Love" How TO Get Beyond Fantacy is excellent.
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thanks so much.
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excellent video clip J!
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Permalink Reply by Diana on
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My husband calls me 'squirrel' because I have secrets from him and hide things away!
I dont mean the big things, we share our lives, so we share our deepest secrets. But my journalling is a very private affair and I keep them in amongs my yoga books where he would have no interest in looking. Anyway because I have no real secrets from him he would never be interested what I wrote in those books. In fact I dont think anyone but me would have any interest, as they are so focused on 'me' and my concerns.
Im lucky that I have retained my privacy and my freedom in this relationship, so it is possible. I like the idea of setting ground rules up front for both of you and rights over privacy and freedom.
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Hi...Thanks for your responses.
I just watched this video of John Demartini posted here by Jilly (thank you so much Jilly, by the way) & it made me think about some things. I am now in a relationship and I have some thoughts that have come to my mind. I know this is a bit strange, but still a very valid point. I believe I am not the only one feeling these things. On the one hand I am truly grateful for the love I receive from my current boyfriend. But at times I wonder if I would be able to be with him for good. I have always been a bit picky and at times in the past I had such strong emotional reaction that I literally ran from the relationship as soon as I felt that urge. Meaning at times with some of my ex- boyfriends I felt "Thats it. I just want him off my back" - sometimes for no fault of the other. It was just as if I was compromising and the relationship had little potential and it had reached it expiration date.
I dream of a perfect relationship where the guy is totally into me, loves me , I am the center of his world. In the current one, all of these are there and I feel incredibly lucky and great. However, sometimes I wonder because although I am attracted to him, he is not the exact ditto picture of what I had in mind in terms of the physical attributes. I did go into meditation about this imagining the visual aspect of the perfect partner and how he would make me feel. The latter is there, but the former is not. I have always dated Caucasian men because I naturally get along with them very well- primarily because I appreciate people who are sophisticated polished and who I can clearly communicate with. I am not racist..but typically I havent found these attributes in non Caucasian men. My current bf is not caucasian and he doesnt have blonde hair as I wanted. But he is a great guy and has many many great qualities that I have always been looking for but never found. I love the fact that he totally adores me and that we are so compatible- im a sagitarian girl and he is an aries guy. Astrology says it just doesnt get any better than this. I just wonder if I should just say ..ok I'll stay and enjoy teh journey with him. I really like it when I think this thought, and then sometimes I wonder about my blonde haired dream lover, and think should I let that fantasy go.
I know what they say that anything is possible. But in reality we have to make choices. Just thinking aloud.
While listening to the video I was thinking.... am I the best possible me that I could be? And the answer is NO. I want to be and I strive to be. And then unless I am , how can I expect to meet that perfect lover?
Any thoughts?
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Hey my first thought (thinking out loud with a bit of a giggle)...get a bottle of clairol Nice 'n Easy #98 Light Blonde...did I make you smile...lol
No seriously thought. I think you might like the book Heart of Love. After almost 30 years of marriage I learned a few things from the book. He has a way of making you take a good look at yourself.
Love J
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thanks Jilly.great suggestion. I will tell him tomorrow. And I realised I can try for other colors as well like orange....:) I had a friend once who used to dye his hair and experiment often. And I really loved it when he dyed his hair orange...a decent shade of orange..nothing that crazy. Anyway ...awesome suggestion.... Luckily this guy is quite adventurous...:)
have added that book to my never ending "to read" list. BTW, although sometimes I catch myself going back and forth...chances are I will stay with him....as I have grown to realise the great power in appreciating what I do have.... May be I should start another discussion about HOW this all happened. I had written in details what I wanted in my ideal relationship and partner... but what I got is not exactly what I wrote, but certainly ditto of how I wanted to feel.. and MOST CERTAINLY I feel the universe gave me 10,000 times more than what I was expecting in important areas that barely or never crossed my mind. I still dont know how to explain each and every aspect of it. But anyway...Perhaps I will get an answer one day :)
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