June 2016 Blog Posts (28)

Yesterday I had another choreography session with Kaitlin - the same thing that had caused a near-meltdown for my body last week.This time however, I was prepared, having given my ego a pep talk the night before. It went fantastic! We got a LOT done, and I found I was able to come with things on the fly, exactly what I thought I wasn't able to do. One more session like that and we'll be finished all the choreo :)

Often I have conversations with my 'God-self', in which I type questions on paper, then type the first response which comes to mind. It's a way of communicating with my subconscious. This time however, I wanted to speak to my ego. I was frustrated after a day of non-productivity, and felt more than ever that ego was trying to keep me in the cage of my comfort zone. Three things I learned after talking with ego.

1. The ego cannot be argued with, but it can be shown.

2.…

Yesterday was one of those awesome days where you work your butt off, come home exhausted, but feeling good because it was a day well-lived. There was no moments where I felt I wasted time, including when I took a break. I could live my whole life like this...

Starting to get the hang of these long stretches of free time! Yesterday I had only an our of work, and my partner was away for the day. So I took advantage of the time to 'finally' craft the beginnings of a business and marketing strategy. I made a number of important decisions and got a lot accomplished, enough to enjoy the rest of my free time without guilt. I even got a nap in :)

Hello all,

In a final attempt to care for financial responsibilities in order to finally move to California for school I've decided to set up a GoFundMe. I am so close to my goal of living my dream of living on the West Coast. I believe firmly in the power of the universe to manifest my dream into reality. Any donation of any size would be a blessing. 

- Christian

GoFundMe Link: gofund.me/2b4dt3w

Yesterday I took time to remember that, even when I'm distracted from my calling and not being as productive as I want to be, it's a necessary part of moving towards greater enlightenment. Every misstep is a lesson I still need to learn to move forward, and by forgiving myself and staying as present as possible, I can learn that lesson more quickly. This helped me get through a difficult period where I was being very hard on myself.

A chain of events put me in a very uncomfortable place mentally - I mean, I couldn't believe how deep into fight-or-flight mode my body was. For a time, I was paralyzed, feeling I was letting down those close to me. But I knew I couldn't just bow out of the situation, even though the opportunity was offered. How would I ever learn? I finally managed to start focusing, and got a chunk of important work done. It's not much on the outside, but definitely a victory with me!

Do what you love and love what you do. Whatever I have is for me to share, whoever needs it, I will try to be there.

I have so much love, that no matter how much I give I get an abundance of it back, maybe not from them , but always from somewhere else, but that's not the point to give love , to make someone feel special, better, happier , is a gift and a true…

We are here for just a number of days, its not who you know, what you do  or where you go its all about how you feel. Spend the rest of your life feeling good, be around people who make you feel that way, do things that make you feel good, talk about things that make you feel good. Every time you feel good , take note , remember so that you know this is your…

After many obstacles, I am finally a homeowner! I didn't know how I would buy it, and I still don't know how I will keep it, but I am determined to do my best and give my kids this experience. I have already experienced 2 miracles in this process, so why not expect a few…

The weekend ended up being too busy for me to actually relax much, so when Monday rolled around, my body didn't want to do much beyond sleeping and puttering on the computer. No regrets, and it makes it easier to function today.

Something happened on Saturday night, which made me very upset at the time. The next day, I talked to my fiancé about it. I could have been angry and vindictive, but before we talked, I wrote down everything as objectively as I could, and managed to eliminate much of my ego from the equation. Our conversation was a relief, for both of us I think, and we are both stronger for it.

New Beginning's, New chapter, New adventures, New Friends, New thoughts, New life , Excited and happy.

Yesterday was challenging - wasn't feeling well, had a lot of work to do, and my body was stuck in fight-or-flight mode, just waves to fear and anger hitting me. I knew the latter was due to frustration with a lack of consistent students, and also knew I couldn't do anything about it right now, but that didn't stop the feelings. Finally, I just let it all out talking to my fiancé last night - how I felt I was working as hard as I could, and barely getting by despite that. How frustrating it…

Yesterday morning I was angrier than I had any right to be. True, I'd just had not one, but two students cancel their lessons for several weeks, but you learn to live with that in the dancing world. Reflecting on it, I realized I was taking it personally because I felt it reflected on my own abilities as an instructor: I wanted to have many students, because it validated the work I did. Paradoxically, if I want to have more students, or at least more consistent ones, I need to start by…

This might be considered part 2 of the previous post: My victory over my fears on Monday gave me new focus and confidence yesterday, and I made some great progress in my work. Best of all, I found myself able to distinguish when I wanted to rest out of a need to escape, and when my body genuinely needed it. When I rested, it felt like a rest well-deserved. Here's to repeating that today!

Yesterday I came to understand more than ever how scared my mind could get of pushing my comfort zone. I wasn't even doing anything particularly different, but the desire to escape and not talk to anyone was intense. I had to repeat 'I trust myself' and 'I've got this' constantly - they became like a prayer to me. With their help, I managed to make it through the day with only a few short lapses. For the first time, I realize I don't always feel a need to take breaks because I'm genuinely…

After reviewing the analytics for the studio website for the past month, I finally completed my first professional assessment yesterday! And just in time, because I have a progress report today :) The assessment gives us a better understanding of how the website might be improved to reach more students.