Andy B's Blog – December 2012 Archive (10)

I've had worse years in my life, for sure, but I cannot remember another year quite like this one, where the challenge to change has possibly been greater than in any other year. In hindsight, I probably have grown quite a bit as a person, certainly become more aware of certain things, and also realised how hard I find certain behaviour patterns to change. 

I don't know whether or not I like myself more than I did at the end of last year. In terms of relationships with other…

Just over halfway through the challenge now - have been feeling tense tonight, although a little better now. I am surprised by how much I am missing Facebook, perhaps I need to stop relying on it so much for connecting with others. Still feeling up and down I guess, a bit more down than up. In some ways I wonder whether everything is happening for a reason and maybe there's little I can do to stop it. Life just seems to be going round in circles. 

Things are probably still shifting, I…

Heyyy, 

I'm now staying with my parents for just over a week, for the Christmas period. I am very glad to have a break, and I want to take some time to be quiet and maybe make some plans for next year. I am kind of retreating from the world a bit, staying off Facebook until the New Year, just want to take time to listen to my inner voice and pay attention to what life is saying to me. 

I didn't feel anything too significant on December 21st, but I hope that things will change…

Not long to go now before the Christmas break - can't wait :) Not really got much to post as regards the challenge but I just wanted to share a story from last week where a stranger did a random act of kindness for me. I had to go to the bank to take some work cheques there, as I do once or twice a week. It's in Harrogate town centre and I have to pay for a ticket and display it inside my screen. I got my ticket and put it on top of the area between the steering wheel and the…

Definitely feeling the energy shifts that are going round at the moment. Been really tired tonight, had a bit of a rest and now staying up a bit longer. 

I am going to a meditation on the evening of 12/12/12 and maybe I will get more of an idea of exactly what is going on. These are interesting times though. 

2012 has been a difficult year although I have definitely grown as a person, probably more so than I realise. My goals and intentions for this season have been put on the…

It's been a nice weekend, pretty busy, pretty low key in some ways which suits me, some people involved but not too many, also had the company of two dogs today who were soooooo cute. Yesterday, I was in Durham and met up with my friend Phil, originally from the south coast like me but who now lives in Sunderland, and his wife Caroline. Durham is a nice city but I think it might be nicer to visit in the Spring. Yesterday evening after arriving back home, I went for a meal with my…

Not sure whether I've got my day numbers mixed up but today is definitely Day 37. Been out and have only just got back home so I'll squeeze this entry in whilst I wait for my tea. 

Today was a better day, Friday is always the busiest work day but that can mean I get more focused, and I did quite well. Tonight I went to a meditation where we got taken back into two of our past lives - I have never done this kind of thing before, and it was really. 

The first life I was shown was…

Another challenging day. I need to do a list of the reasons why I don't quit my job so that maybe I get a new perspective on things. 

- The obvious one is that I don't want to be unemployed again. That wasn't much fun. I could then go on to a whole list of consequences of being unemployed but there probably isn't any need. But basically I don't want things to be any worse than they already are. 

- It enables me to have a roof over my head, live in a nice house and pay the rent…

No doubt most if not all of you on here will have heard things said along the lines of 'You must decide what you want. Don't focus on what you don't want' and all that jazz. 

Certainly people say these things when mentioning about relationships. The problem I have though, is KNOWING what I really want, and sometimes it's easier to focus on what I don't want. I came to the realisation about two and a half years ago that I probably didn't want to have children, for various reasons,…

This year is almost over, I can't remember what goals I set at the start of the year, but they've probably mostly been blown out of the window. At the end of the year, when I look back, I'll probably recognise that I've done quite well and have certainly grown as a person. 

This afternoon, I went to Skipton, a market town 15 miles from me which has a good range of shops. There is a New-age shop there which I only discovered last month having been to Skipton a number of times…