I've often had an issue with arriving on time for appointments. I also have felt a surprising amount of resistance doing chores, or working in general beyond a certain point. While I used to condemn this as simple laziness, I'm beginning to understand there's a part of me that DOES want to get things done, but on it's own terms. When ever I feel forced to do something, a childish voice inside shouts 'you can't make me do it!' and resists the action like only a rebellious child can. I am…Continue
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 31, 2017 at 7:08am — No Comments
My wife and I took my 3-yr old nephew out to Ripley's Aquarium yesterday for his birthday. I was unfortunately feeling very out of sorts, having been sick all last week, and I hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before. There's nothing like a kid who's full of awe to change your mood though, so I put on my best face and we ended up having a pretty good time. The 3-hr nap afterwards felt great too :)
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 30, 2017 at 2:55pm — No Comments
Finished my second course on Lynda.com yesterday - this one on online market fundamentals. I learned a lot about how to measure the success of my website, and look forward to delving even deeper into analytics in future courses :)
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 27, 2017 at 9:49am — No Comments
Yesterday, I finally got started on something I've been procrastinating about for months - fixing up my website! I'm going for a more minimal theme, something that's slick, gives you what you're looking for and nothing else. I even managed to type up some new copy for the homepage.
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 26, 2017 at 9:08am — No Comments
One thing I've learned over and over, is that people cannot be told what to do - if they are really going to change, they must come to their own conclusions. My wife helps me remember that regularly ;) Yesterday she was feeling depressed with her health problems, and trouble at work. Instead of making suggestions like I used to, I simply asked questions about what was bothering her specifically, with a few examples of how I'd gotten through similar challenges myself. To be honest, I don't…Continue
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 25, 2017 at 12:55pm — No Comments
I have a lot to do this week, and it was bothering me a lot yesterday. I kept trying to plan ahead, even though I'd already written everything I needed to do and when in my organizer. I resolved to let myself enjoy the day. Most of it was spent hanging out with friends, and it was a relief to let myself relax and be myself around them. I started and finished the day with a meditation to classical music. There were some stressful moments, but I got a lot more time to recharge than I normally…Continue
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 23, 2017 at 3:08pm — No Comments
VERY busy day yesterday - meetings, travel, lessons, a studio social... It was exhausting. I managed as best I could, and even had a good conversation with a prospective student at the end. The secret that kept me from 'tapping out' was to take little meditative moments when I could. I played classical music through my laptop during meals. I consciously relaxed my body and mind on bus rides. It gave me just enough energy to make it through the evening.
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 20, 2017 at 10:13am — No Comments
As part of my renewed discipline in refocusing my mind towards what I wish to invite into my life, I've continued with with work on my website. Yesterday, I began sorting through new themes to revamp the appearance, something I've been shy about doing for a while. Once I got started however, the old excitement came rushing back and I had no trouble finding several possible options. I just need to wait for my files to back up and I'll be ready to give the site the make-over it needs.
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 19, 2017 at 10:11am — No Comments
Yesterday I broke a promise to myself. I started playing video games, something I've managed to avoid doing for over a year and a half. I've found them so addictive in the past, but by the end of the day and after checking in with myself, I realized they no longer had as much power over me as they once did. Normally I would want to get right back at it today, but the desire has left me. I've seen too much of my time lost to it to take that path again. So, I renew my promise, to continue to…Continue
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 18, 2017 at 9:44am — No Comments
One of the benefits of coming to terms with your own broken-ness is you become more understanding of the broken-ness of others. Yesterday I had a lesson with a student I normally find very stressful and frustrating, but I was able to set those feeling aside, because I realized she was just another scared woman who often doesn't feel in control of her life situation. She ended up feeling comfortable enough to open up a bit, which allowed me to be there for her. I love the feeling of being…Continue
I have period where I get very restless and stressed. However, for reasons I don't yet understand, I often feel uncomfortable dancing in response to this, even though it seems like a viable way to shake off the feeling. Yesterday, I finally made myself do it. I felt it was helpful, though I ended up running around a lot that day, so I'm not sure how much.
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 13, 2017 at 10:22am — No Comments
I just want to say that a couple new students went to the front desk after my group class and said they were 'very impressed' with my lesson :) Yay!
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 12, 2017 at 9:48am — No Comments
I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing these days, and I don't dare think too closely about it. My faith in the power of thought has been shaken over the past month - I wonder if my cerebral approach to many facets of my life hasn't created more misery than it's taken away. I'm looking for something, or waiting for something, I'm not sure which. I'm doing as little as possible, in order to try and feel what it is I WANT to do. The best I can say at this point, is it feels like something is…Continue
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 11, 2017 at 9:04am — No Comments
For months, we've had a cfl light that's been leaning against the wall, taking up space. I finally got sick of it yesterday and took a bus to the nearest waste depot. The whole wall looks less cluttered now :)
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 5, 2017 at 10:06am — No Comments
One of my dance students is very hard on herself - she's always pointing out the flaws in her dancing and brushing off her strong points.Yesterday I managed to get her into a positive place simply by refusing to acknowledge her negativity. For every criticism she used, I pointed out how she'd improved, or at least refocused on what to try next. It was wonderful to see her confidence finally come up and start celebrating some of her progress.
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 4, 2017 at 9:45am — No Comments
On the weekend, I was talking to my wife about my decision to stop letting guilt dictate whether I got work done or not, and she made the following suggestion: Since my work hours change from day to day and I have my own projects I'm working on as well, my problem is that I always feel I should be working. She suggested I work no more than 8 hrs a day, including a lunch break, and relax for the rest of the time. I tried it yesterday, and it was amazingly successful! Instead of being stressed…Continue
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 3, 2017 at 9:19am — No Comments
I have a habit of automatically trying to offer solutions when people are feeling bad. I want to take their pain away and yes, feel validated that they are happier because of me. But people don't want someone else coming into their lives and telling them what to do. Yesterday when my wife was talking about her frustrations at work, I restrained myself and simply asked what she thought she needed to do. Instead of having a fight over possible 'solutions' she decided to spend some time alone…Continue
Added by DarknessCannotDriveOutDarkness on January 2, 2017 at 1:10pm — No Comments