Well, there has been a lot going on this season. I can't say that I enjoyed all of the experiences, they were harsh but I am still pretty sure that I need them to help me develop into the person that I need to be and to transition into better things in this thing called life. Its a lot that I've been through these past couple of weeks and while I won't get to much into it, lets say I saw some true colors, I've seen them before but chose to ignore or believe they weren't there, but I was… Continue
Added by Sese O on January 23, 2011 at 4:00pm —
Lesson for today. I need to work on my self esteem. Its something that obviously already knew. First, I need to know who I truly am. I am more than my physical body, I am more than others opinions of my are, good or bad they shouldn't matter. It all starts with God and who I am to God. Letting God inside to heal me and my self-esteem and other issues. The past doesn't dictate the now, and now is all I have, so I better make the most of it. I'm thankful to God for giving me the power to help… Continue
Added by Sese O on January 6, 2011 at 1:07am —
2010 has definitely been a year of reflection but also for some reason, a lot of it is a blur. I didn't really get a grasp and cherish a lot of the moments, but I did learn a lot in 2010. I'm not sad to say goodbye I'm excited and looking forward to the blessings, opportunities, changes, and moments that 2011 will bring and I will cherish them.
No resolutions but I did make a list of goals and achievements, manifestations for 2011.
1. Act Professionally in films, movies,… Continue
Added by Sese O on December 31, 2010 at 7:30pm —
42 days in to Season 3. Wow. I just wanted to write a blog about how I'm feeling right now. Yesterday was Christmas and it was okay. I didn't really get a lot but its okay, I'm really okay with that. I've realized a long time ago that this holiday is not about the material. Honestly I think this holiday is total crap. First, its not Jesus' real birthday, his birthday is actually sometime in late spring/early summer. Secondly, I know its a ploy for millions of companies to get you to spend… Continue
Added by Sese O on December 26, 2010 at 3:12pm —
These past couple of weeks have been rough ones. One Word: FINALS. Add that to the stress of being an actress, having scenes to memorize and learn. Ugh. It seems this semester that the professors I have are really cocky, arrogant, and nasty. Oh well, I believe in karma. lol. My absentee dad called me out of the blue saying he got a new car and that he wanted to take me out to practice driving fo my license. So when I call him back to go, he makes up a bunch of lame excuses, as always. Man,… Continue
Added by Sese O on December 15, 2010 at 4:27pm —
Well, its day 25. Lets see these past couple of days have been eventful, kind of. Finals are coming up so I have a lot of work on my plate but things seem to be going a long smoothly in that aspect. Oh, I have to mention that the other night while filming a basketball game at school I had a panic attack, a small one but I had one. Lets start from here there is this guy who I have a serious crush on, we don't really know each other but I added him to facebook… Continue
Added by Sese O on December 9, 2010 at 10:18pm —
I received really great news today, really, really great news. I am thankful for being put in this situation but I don't feel like I'm thankful enough. I guess I have to learn to be excited for myself and be appreciative for what I do have and my progression in life and not what I seem to be lacking. Continue
I am grateful because I decide to be. In fact, I am ecstatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Everything we encounter in this world with our senses is an inkblot…
Added by Sese O on November 30, 2010 at 11:30pm —
Lately I've been feeling everything spiraling and I feel not in control, which is scary to me. I have to know that I'm in control. I'm the type of person likes to have alone time every now and then and people sometimes feel that it means I don't want them around or that I don't need them. I'm not the best communicator but I don't want them to feel this way. On one hand I feel like these people are being a bit childish with the way the react to a situation and on the other hand I feel bad that I… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 29, 2010 at 12:44pm —
Today was a good day. Black friday. I got to spend time with my aunt and cousin that I don't get to see often. She gave me some money and we went to New Hampshire to go shopping for Black Friday and did I mention in NH there are no taxes. Black Friday + No Taxes = Happy Me! We went to this great mall, got some great stuff, going to try and pick some more items up tomorrow. My aunt is also going to take me driving on tuesday, she's going to help me get my license, so I'm closer to getting that.… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 26, 2010 at 9:19pm —
Yesterday was thankgiving and to be completely honest, it wasn't so great. I had a complete melt down. This day makes me think of the family I once had and was close to but that it is no more, it made me think of my grandmother and how shes so far away. It made me think of how I really want a "family" again, I want to feel loved and have good times, and feel comfortable. I will have this, I have to believe it. Most of all it made me think of my ancestors that were murdered for this land and… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 26, 2010 at 9:15pm —
Overall today was good. I started brainstorming ideas for my final project for my editing class. I'm starting to come up with some good ideas. I want this project to be great because it could possibly be the start of a lot great things. I was in the library thinking about who could possibly be in the project and along comes in this guy who I rarely see but want to get to know as a friend and I thought he'd be great. I asked if he would like to be in it and he said yes, so know I have to find a… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 22, 2010 at 10:04pm —
I woke up in the middle of my sleep this morning and I remember feeling this anxiety about my future out of no where, but it was really strong. I went back to sleep and I had a dream that was like a movie set and it was like the 1930's era and all of a sudden in unison a group of people started shooting and I think I was running but everyone was running. Their was blood everywhere. This is about the third time in the past few days I have had a dream with blood.
I decided to try to… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 22, 2010 at 6:00pm —
It was a good day yet again. I woke up feeling like BLAH. So I decided that I was going to change that because today was the last day of the acting workshop that I am currently in. I did some meditations and practiced my "what-ifs", I knew I had to be in a good place within my self in order to tap into emotions and to give and be open. I went and had so much fun, I was open and gave a lot, I also received a lot and learned a great deal. So many people told me they were proud of me.
Added by Sese O on November 20, 2010 at 9:44pm —
Today, was a great day. I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was deactivate my facebook page. I feel so good, soooooooooo good. Its sometimes a source of negativity, of ill-feelings, and I spend way too much time on there so for the time being I'm letting it go for many reasons. If people are truly my "friends" and want to connect with me they can do so in other ways.
Also this morning I decided to try and decode a dream I had last night, the practice has always interested… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 17, 2010 at 9:00pm —
Sigh, I don't know whats going on with me. I started off the day feeling alright, everyday I wake up and tell myself "Today will be an amazing day" and I even decided to be bold today. I wore shorts and tights, a classic fall look, yet anyone who knows me, knows that this is a big deal for me. I felt a little self-conscious at first but I kept reassuring myself that I looked fine, and I did get a lot of compliments, but its really not the battle with what others will think it is a battle with… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 17, 2010 at 12:30am —
Today is the start of my new season. 100 days of greatness, amazingness this will be. lol
So far today was a good day. I appreciate that I got to experience it. I am exicted because I feel myself growing in a lot of ways, especially in the sense of me not being afraid to be me. I am able to shine my light, to express myself more and more and it feels amazing.
There is a lot I will manifest for the better of my life this season. I may make a list of some things I want to accomplish;… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 15, 2010 at 5:58pm —
Today was a great day. I woke up and I told myself it would be. I feel great about myself today, I look good, I feel good. I actually let myself flirt and I was complimented a lot today, but the great thing was that I didn't even need anyone's compliments I felt good on my own.
Today, I keep seeing girls with the most beautiful natural hair. This is a big struggle for me, wearing my hair in its natural state, but lets just say I taking all the beautiful natural hair I saw today as a… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 8, 2010 at 8:39pm —
Please give me strength, courage and everything I need to love and accept myself just the way you made me. Please help me to except and love my natural hair, my skin, my body, my personality just as they are. Please help me to accept me and adjust what needs to be. In Jesus' Name, AMEN!
God loves me
I love myself as God made me
I am beautiful
I am Gorgeous
My hair is beautiful
I am fun to be around
I can make friends with anyone
People are… Continue
Added by Sese O on November 4, 2010 at 9:06pm —
Well, Today is the first day of Nov. 2010. It was an amazing day. I am so appreciative, I feel excitement, love, fun, grateful, happy, so many great emotions. Good things are coming my way. November will be a spectacular month. Okay, right now I'm focusing on writing a list on things that I want to get done now and how I can get that done; some of these things on my list are tools to aid me in conquering my fears.
Some of these include:
Scheduling a photo shoot
Added by Sese O on November 1, 2010 at 8:00pm —
So far today has been a much better day. I feel happy, optimistic, creative and able. In a state of knowing. I quit that awful job, let go of grudges and peoples opinions (still a work in progress), I have reconciled with a good friend, and I am just in a good state of being.
So I will leave myself with some positive affirmations to keep these feelings going:
I am happy
I am love and loved
I am light
I am peace and peaceful
I am a creative source
Added by Sese O on October 30, 2010 at 11:56am —