I made videos, but I think it's best that I type this one out because I'm mostly crying in the videos that I made for this. Basically, I called my father last night. It was the first time I spoke to him in almost a year. August 22 would have been a year actually (he knew the actual day). It was a 2 hour long conversation and there was a LOT of crying. There was crying, there was yelling and cursing. Before I made the call, I sat in front of the mirror and I said to myself 'we will work this out, we will be a family again, we will work this out, it WILL be ok.' After a bit of the conversation, I was starting to think it may not happen, that he didn't want it to work out that way.
Long story short, we finally decided to move forward and work on our relationship. We will be a family again and we are going to start talking and spending time together again. There is still a lot to work on, but at least i can finally let this anger go. So it's day 3 and I've already been able to achieve one of my intentions/goals. I'm still pretty spent from last night and I'm still finding myself crying a bit just thinking about it. It was just a long conversation and a really big step for both of us. There is stuff that he's wanted to say that he never had before. He was very angry. But there were things that he didn't understand that I didn't think I'd be able to make him understand, but towards the end, I was finally able to, somehow, someway. I'm going to end this now and do my squats. I have to admit, I don't feel very well, but I think the anger is still making it's way out of my body and mind or something. I'll just take it as a detox symptom.
Here's to moving on.....!