Yesterday turned out to be a great day. Had a new friend come over and made some jewelry. So nice to find someone who is interested in the same things! Very easy to talk with and just "hang out". I feel very grateful for the new circle of friends I have found. Very nourishing to the soul...
Today I find I am battling the persistent negative thoughts and anxiety that seem to ooze from me....I do find at least now as I speak, I recognize them as such and try to make a concious decision to change my thought patterns. I have to try and be patient, the thought patterns I've had for years aren't going to vanish overnight. I must make a concious effort daily, set my intention and be mindful throughout my day. I especially dislike when I seem to "covet"...I know I have enough, yet somehow I wish I had more. I realize the "feelings behind the scene" has a lot to do with control issues. I need to recognize "our" path has been chosen for a reason , just as I choose my path for a reason and I must be pt. and let it play out. There are lessons he must learn from this experience (as do I). Lessons are never easy, but it is getting easier to tolerate as time goes on.
Onto more positive things, today is my 4yr wedding anniversary. I am looking forward to spending some time w/G tonight. It's been a busy week and we haven't had a whole lot of time to connect. I really want us to take time tonight to reflect on the positive things that have happened in the past 4 yrs. (This morning ***in my neg mind set*** we were discussing the things we would have changed---what's done is done, let it go and focus on the positive). I want for us to acknowlegde how much we have grown both as individuals and as a couple and really support each other as we move forward. These past few years have been extremely challenging, but they have definitely brought out the best in us. I am very grateful.
I am also grateful for this community..it helps to keep me on track!
Today I want to get my file work completed early in the day so I can relax.
I want to manifest a very intimate evening with my husband, for us to really connect tonight on all levels. Be present and truly enjoy each others company.
I want to let go of my negative/anxious emotions.
I want to complete my "to do " list.
I want to manifest, that when I call staffing today there will be coverage for my Sunday shift and I can go away this weekend.
I will call my Dad today and he will have negative results for his biopsy.
I will be present , be grateful and enjoy each moment today.
I will manifest a massage today :)
Light and laughter throughout the day...ftggoa.