Hello Friends!! I apologize for not blogging over the last few days. I went away for the weekend and things got really hectic upon my return. I also felt a little down when I got back and didn't want to bring negative energy into my "positive" haven. To recap the last few days:
On Friday, I went to the gym and ran a couple of errands before leaving for the airport, picking him up at his office en route. I was really excited for our trip to LA and noticed my enthusiasm rubbing off on him too.
When we got to LA and we went to get our car, he made a snarky remark to me incinuating that he would be too embarrassed to introduce me to the execs of his company which hurt my feelings. I let him know and he said it was a joke. I then tried to let it go so we could just enjoy our weekend.
We got to our hotel and relaxed for a little while before heading out for dinner on the promenade. The atmosphere was great and we had delicious food at a Thai influenced restaurant. We hit a couple of bars before heading back. Before the night ended however, at the last bar we were at, he created another fuss over something silly which was really annoying as well but too insignificant to even remember. I let it go again in an effort to make the most of our trip.
The next morning he slept in while I went to the gym and got ready for sightseeing. It was after noon by the time we got out and we hit up Hollywood and Venice beach, which were both quite interesting. As I was walking on the beach, I felt something stinging on my foot and it turns out I got bitten by something as its all itchy and a bump now! After relaxing for a while and freshening up in our hotel, we set out for an evening of dining and bar-hopping in Sunset Boulevard.
At dinner, we met a nice older man in who is in the fashion business who spent a great deal of time talking to us. By the time dinner ended, we tried to go to a couple of clubs but they were either private or didn't have appealing music, so we settled for a bar at the end of the night and had a quiet drink there before heading back home to our hotel.
The next morning, we went to Malibu beach and did some sightseeing in Bel Air and Beverly Hills, where we moved to our next hotel for the night. We went to return the rental car at the airport and on the drive over he got upset at me for the mere mention of an ex-girlfriend of his' name, even though I was only referencing it innocently about something relevent we were taling about. I told him his emotional reaction may be an indication that he needs to get over it and he accused me of bringing up her name in an effort to ruin our weekend. I have never had a reaction like that when he's brought up a name of my ex and I thought it was really strange and uncalled for and told him so. He apologized and tried to make it up to me by being nice. That evening we went for dinner in Beverly Hills which was underwhelming. We went back to our hotel and were watching TV when he joked by calling me being "a spinster" like the lady in the show we were watching. I didn't react well to that at all and it really upset me that he would say something so insensitive. I ended up crying and he apologized profusely.
The next day, he left for work in the morning. He tried to convince me to get breakfast with him but I was still pretty upset so told him I was too tired and wanted to sleep in. My flight back was in the afternoon so I walked down Rodeo Drive and had a nice outdoor lunch. I managed to get the airport earlier than expected and catch an earlier flight home.
I had a very early morning yesterday since I had conference calls starting at 6am. In the evening, I went out to dinner with a bunch of friends, which was nice since I organized it and a lot of people showed up.
He and I spoke on the phone over the last couple of evenings but his outbursts and hurtful comments to me over the last few days have definitely left scars and are adding to the proof of his lack of maturity. I feel pathetic because I know he really cares about me and shows it to me most of the time, but the 10% of the time he is insensitive, he takes it to a level which I don't find to be acceptable long term. At this point, I don't know if he's capable of changing and I also know he hasn't commited to me long term so I'm seriously considering exploring my options. I know I deserve better but I can't figure out why I can't let him go.
Anyway, that's all the drama with "him". The highlight of my last few days were my niece and nephew telling me they missed me on the phone last night. I can't wait to see them tomorrow! I also received my new Passport (yay) in the post and a whole bunch of clothes I ordered online. Most of them fit me perfectly, but some are actually too big!!
I'm really grateful for my wonderful family, my great job, my cosy and warm apartment, my reliable car, my fun friends and so much more. I can't wait to see what the future holds for me, but until then, I'm enjoying every moment I have.