Hello everyone! I had one of those surreal days today which I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow not believing....I am a little confused, so bear with me, but here goes:
• I went to bed at a reasonable time tonight and slept and slept and slept and slept. Not so much because I was still tired (I have slept a lot over the last few days, so unless my thyroid has dipped again, there is no reason for this exhaustion) but rather, I think, because I was feeling depressed from my heavy feelings and conversation with "him" last night that ended up being not very promising. Anyway, by the time I crawled out of bed (12:30pm), - I am grateful for a warm and quite home to sleep in and for the luxury of my wonderful mattress and warm sheets.
• I decided to call my cousin who I am close to and who lives abroad and we had a wonderful hour-long conversation, catching up on life. We even discussed planning an exotic vacation together late this year or early next and we'll confirm it over the next few weeks - I am grateful for my cousin who is always there for me and who I love dearly. I am grateful for the closeness we share despite living far apart and for the friendship we have.
• While on the phone with my cousin, "he" called. I was surprised given how our conversation went last night, but I called him back after my call with my cousin ended and he asked me if I had already had lunch (it was 2pm at this time). I hadn't eaten anything and he asked if I wanted to go for lunch somewhere, so he met me at my place and we took a nice walk across the park to a wonderful Chinese restaurant nearby. By this time, the sun was shining, in contrast to the rain that was pouring when I got out of bed, and the snow that was falling yesterday. We had a nice lunch and came back to my place and of course, talked about us again. Basically, we decided to give it another try but take it slowly and make some adjustments to avoid the issues we had experienced previously. I feel so much better about this. I have been struggling with this for a long time, and I fianlly feel some level hope. Yesterday , before going to bed, I pleaed with the higher sources to have the outcome of my call with him yesterday be whatever is meant to be - not asking for him to want to try again and not asking for him not to, just to unfold as it is meant to be in the greater scheme of things. It is for that reason, I feel at peace with this turn of events today - I am grateful for second chances, I will be a better person in this relationship, while not sacrificing my integrity or self respect. I wil, not be demanding and temperamental, I will be patient and loving.
• I spoke to my family again today, including my niece and nephew - I am grateful for a family that loves me and wants only the best for me. I am grateful that my family is close and that my niece and nephew know me and know that I adore them and love me back.