Today I am realizing where my ego and compulsion drive me in my life. I get where I want certain things to happen and what I have is not good enough. As I watch the series on oprah.com with Echhart Tolle I see how my whole life has been driven out of compusive instincts for comfort and survival. I can also see when my life has worked and miracles have occured when I stayed in the sacred moment of now and allowed life to flow.
We want to create a new living environment. We intend to manifest more money and a different career for Chuck. We intend to grow and learn and feel joy. There is nothing wrong with these intentions. The desire of growing sometimes gets lost in the compulsive thinking of finding the how to achieve the things we want. When I let myself allow life to unfold and stay present and conscious, there is a true sacredness in each moment and I can see opportunities and sychronicities come into the moment. I tend to force life to come and feel it is hard and I must make things happen in order to survive. This thinking has gotten me into some trouble.
Today I will be silent and see what unfolds. I will notice the happiness of the moment. I will notice when I feel good and life is sacred and when I am forcing things to happen out of pure will and ego driven mania. I will appreciate the love that is already here and be thankful for every moment. I will trust in the process of life. Every moment is sacred and all I ever have is this moment. I will enjoy it now.