I AM starting my new job on Wednesday. I need some new clothes and some money. I have to commute for a few weeks from Belmont Shores to Irvine and stay with my cousin while my family is left in the Desert to do their thing until we move into the new apt. We went on the audition for the TV show yesterday for the Entertainment channels style portion. We had fun and will see if we get on. If we do Chuck gets a transformation and I get a few hundred bucks. I am intending it to be an early morning shoot late June so It does not interfere with my hours at work. A cloak of fear comes upon me as we move forward in this challenge. I have heard of a book feel the fear and do it anyway and that is what I am doing. I move from a state of doom to inspired action. The variance of my feelings are great.
I have lived in the desert for 18 years. 3 of my children are staying here. They are grown but it is still hard to leave. I am doing this like the people who came to America for the dream of the white picket fence and an better life. The hours are good and the money potential is unbelievable. I still wish Chuck would just get noticed and they could something with him. I feel like I am putting all of the pressure on my shoulders to succeed. He did go on the audition though and has been looking for work that suits him out in Orange County. I want things to flow easily. My mom moved in with us today and is going with us. She helps a lot and cooks and helps with appointments while we work. She is an angel I have fought with regularly. I am watching Dr. Jill on Oprah and that puts some perspective into my experience.
I will not be able to post blogs from Wednesday to Saturday and this helps me so much and I will miss everyone while I ajust. Please pray for me and I will be thinking of all my friends here and pray and send you good energy. We have come far in this challenge and have literally changed our lives in so many ways that I now intend for this to go from success to success instead of hope to disapointment.
Love you all!