The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Day 4/100, Season 2 - Highs and Lows

The FANTASTIC!
• I went to the mall for a quick errand with "him" this morning and we had a lovely lunch before I came home to clean and prepare for friends I was having over tonight. - I am grateful to have him in my life.
• My place is clean again! I didn't realize how messy I'd let it get and I forgot how wonderful it feels to have no clutter.- I am grateful for a lovely apartment. I keep it clean and take care of it constantly. I don't let clutter build up.
• I had a wonderful evening with my good friends and their 2 kids tonight, who I have been meaning to have over for a while and finally had over for dinner. The food I'd prepared ended up turning out really good and they enjoyed themselves and kept complimenting the food and the way I decorated my apartment. They also bought me a bottle of wine and a lucky bamboo as a gift, which was unnecessary and really generous of them. - I am grateful for good friends and the love I get by those in my life. I am grateful for their generosity and for all the luck my gift will bring me.

The GREAT!
• I just saw an email from a friend of mine which explains a text I received from him out of the blue for going to a bar tongiht. He used to be a good friend of mine for a short while after I first moved here and suddenly met this girl and started dating her, which is fine, except he stopped keeping in touch with me and his other good freinds and instead his life just revolved around her, which never really sat well with me. The email I got was announcing his engagement to her, telling us he proposed earlier today. He started dating her a few months after I started dating "him" and I can't help but feel sorry for myself for not moving forward in my life, instead of feeling joy for him. I sometimes wonder why I'm wasting my time with "him" when he's obviously not at the same maturity level as me and he's not ready to go in the direction I see myself going in anytime soon. I can't honestly say "he's the one" because something inside tells me he may not be. Yet, when we split earlier, I couldn't console myself and I just wanted to be back together with him. I haven't closed myself off from meeting other guys but I haven't actively been going out with an effort to do so, because I feel like I'm betraying him if I do. I feel like maybe I should just pack up and move somewhere else and start again, which probably isn't the solution to my problems either. I know that the LOA works if you continue to believe wholeheartedly that you will get what you asked for but its so hard not to get down on yourself when you see everyone but you getting what you ultimately want for yourself. I have asked for the Universe to bring me my ideal mate and I am patienlty waiting for him to be delivered to me. - I am grateful for all the wonderful things I have in my life. The Universe is unfolding to bring me my ideal mate.

The GORGEOUS!
• Nothing today!

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Comment by Zara on June 22, 2008 at 5:27pm
Hi PJ, your friends sound wonderful. Don't worry about not moving forward in your relationship, you are moving forward in many other ways! You will meet your ideal mate at just the right time in your life. Maybe you have important things to learn in the relationship you have now before you can move on. You will look back in the future and understand why but for now just trust the universe:)

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