The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Day 11/100, Season 2 - Emotional evening

Hi Friends. I got home really late last night and wasn't able to blog, so am making up for it in this blog post.

• I drove back home today and had a long wait at the border as I'd forgotten its Canada Day next week and a lot of people had taken a long weekend and were headed to the US. I took the border route with teh shortest wait time though and the remainder of my journey was pleasant. - I am grateful for my wonderful family and that they live close enough to allow me to see them frequently. I am grateful to have a car that takes me safely wherever I need to go.

Nothing today

• At night we celebrated "his" birthday at a bar/club with friends. He got angry with me for dancing with a male friend of mine who he doesn't know too well, even thoough there was nothing inappropriate going on. I got a little jealous when he and his friend were talking to random girls on the dancefloor and he was drunk and acted quite disrespectful about it. I got pretty upset about it, but tried not to make a big deal of it since I didn't want to ruin his night. He did know I was upset though and I had a good cry when we got back. He thinks we can't go through any length of time without arguing and I guess I proved him right again. But because he can't ever admit he is in the wrong, it makes me the victim and the one who has to apologize just to make everything OK again because I don't want to lose him. When did I become this desperate of a person who would rather be with someone who is immature and disrespectful towards me every now and again instead of being comfortable with being alone while waiting for the Universe to deliver what I requested? I'm disappointed in myself - this isn't the person I am and I know I'm letting my fear of ending up alone and the feelings I have for him when he shows his angelic side take over what I know is an unhealthy situation. - He will see how disrespectful he was to me and change his ways. I will gain the strength to walk away from this relationship if he doesn't. The Universe hears my intentions and is unfolding to bring me my soul mate.

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Comment by Zara on June 30, 2008 at 4:59am
Hi PJ, I'm sorry to hear your night out didn't go well. You deserve to be happy and its not nice to hear your getting upset by him. I hope you feel the strength to do the right thing, you deserve so much better! I know all relationships have their ups and downs but if you feel it in your heart that it is not right then you shouldn't waste time in a relationship that makes you feel un-happy. I hope you don't mind me saying this but everyone deserves to be happy:)

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