I have 3 days until I kick off my challenge and I still find myself struggling to define exactly what I want to achieve over the next 100 days. My mind is such a noisy, negative place. Within seconds of dreaming up a goal or imagining my 'ideal life' my mind begns to form arguments to convince me why this is unrealistic or unattainable.
I am finding this immensely frustrating. I am an extremely capable girl with a huge amount of expertise and unutilised potential. There was a time when I chased down every opportunity that came my way and jumped up and down screaming, "notice me" when there were none. I don't know what has happened.
In fact, that is not true. I do know what has happened. I gained weight and I lost my confidence and the more confidence I lost, the less opportunities I chased until I came to a grinding halt.
The difficulty I have is that from the outside looking in, my life looks amazing. I have several degrees, a leadership role in a government job that pays a consistent salary, I own a house, a car and a dog. I have a (HOT!) husband who worships me and an amazing body that created the world's most adorable child. The problem is that I am bored moving in this direction and I am capable of more than what I am producing right now. The boredom is very destructive because I have become so fixated on what I don't have that I have lost sight of being grateful for what I have and where I am right in this moment. I am ambitious and I really do need to push through this period of apathy and lethargy for my own physical, mental and spiritual development but I also need to step out of this negative, self destructive space and give thanks for the privileged life I have been blessed with. Instead of whinging and blaming my current situation for everything that is wrong with my life, I need to be grateful to be here and thankful that I have the opportunity to grow further.
There are millions of people who would love to have just one of the many things I have been given. I need to be grateful for what I have got and not waste it by wallowing in unhealthy thoughts and behaviours.
BTW....I paid for the challenge workbook but I haven't been sent anything and I can't figure out how/where to download it from.
Anyone know what I need to do?