The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Now... The review: (13 to 19)

1-Zumba/Walking: 3X this week *whoo-hoo*!! Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday. It felt so well on me... I did different DVDs and felt AWE-SOME. I was having fun and feeling energetic and in-place and loved and lovely :D. I feel (like today, in which I did zumba again) I'm getting stronger, because I couldn't keep up in the beginning and now I can handle the whole 60 minutes without giving up! (Which I did a looot before).

2-Company: Issues. Tomorrow I have an event and I really don't want to go. I wanted to take the month to work on my course, and still I haven't taken 1 single drop of action to do so. I also realized I can plan way ahead from things (which is good) and then leave it for a month to go back and realize I should've done something about it BEFORE. I'm trying to forgive myself for that (still on it). So.. Done nothing.

3- My course: I said I wanted to dedicate last week to it, and I didn't. Is on my mind, no actual effort was made. (I will leave last week's sentence here, because it's what happened). I actually asked my psychologist to work on that this week because I don't know why I'm procrastinating on it so much...

4- Health/exams: nope.

5- Eating:This week I wasn't able to plan and I'm eating disorderly, but I'm putting in apples, jello, yogurt... And I congratulate myself for those choices ( I think it was the zumba effect, you don't want to work hard to eat it again in 1 day)

6- Sleep: I felt the time was more regular this week too. I realized how life affects sleep also. When I'm stressed I tend to sleep later and sleep more. When I'm peaceful I sleep before. I haven't forgotten it's necessary to keep pushing time back, but I think my chronotherapy is doing really well so far, thank you very much ;D

7- Self-care: nth.

8-book: No time established, no progress made. (same). I intend to write a short story to a contest I saw on kindle... Made no time for it... yet.

9- meditation: no meditation registered.

10- Scrolls: I haven't missed a day so far.

11-Weekly planning: I think things have been shuffling into place. In my daily living I see that what's important is perceived either as a presence (you feel you're doing right) or absence (you feel the necessity of doing it) and I'm still working on it. I came up with the term 'smart planning', I need to take into account what I should do, how I feel, my energy at the moment, etc. while I plan my activities and remind myself that the MOST IMPORTANT THING is I'm alive, and that's what matters. Keeping also in mind ppl cancel things, rainy days, 'I feel like doing nothing days', 'I want to take on the world days', 'I have no clue what to do days'.

12- Washing clothes: Not done.

13- Cleaning my room: Not done.

14-Living from the heart: I started to pay attention to my emotions. It is most of what affects my actions. Acting when I feel bad feels awful. However, I'm realizing the power that acting on things has. On Wednesday I had this terrible experience of putting my hand in my heart and remembering every type of bullying in my childhood and how it hurt also. It's like fear has been frozen inside of me for so,so,so long that everything that's related to going outside, meeting and handling people, work, it all scares me. A lot.

     I think I'm just afraid of being 'mediocre' and having a 'mediocre' life. :( . I want to live so much! I'm a big dreamer, but want to be a big maker. I tend to freeze or go into flight mode when I have to make a decision or act. Usually, when I have something important to do I tend to postpone it as much as possible, that's why all-nighters were so common in college for me.

     I also realized I have this 'obsessive behavior', in the sense of starting an activity and wanting to do something forever. I start reading a text, want to read it, and read it, and read it. I'm on the internet, then I realized lots of time were spent there. Talking on the phone and not saying goodbye to ppl when I need to. It's like there are no actual limits. And I don't know how to live life in chapters and do one thing at a time and start and stop things. That's why I'm using pomodoro, even as I write this post! I tend to go on forever in the same activity and realized today's world is all about knowing when to say yes, knowing when to say no, when to move on, when to improvise, when to rest, when to have fun, going back-and-forth with ideas, projects, frindships... Still I feel I'm growing. The need to be perfect is weaker in my body. The option of stop the exaggerate comparison with others appearing on the horizon where there was nothing before. Those were the heart messages.

Half way through and feeling proud of starting this season!

This weekly review is so interesting...It helps seeing what is too much and too little. Good to observe life's balance in theory and action.

I feel I took on a lot of new habits to increment at once, but just juggling with them has taught me a lot about what we can and can't do and how we handle daily tasks. I think everyone would love to plan and do everything, but accepting the things you couldn't do in the day feels more and more necessary each day. what is really important in essence in each day? *food for thought*.

Onward!!

Light.

    

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Comment by Let there be Light on July 27, 2015 at 2:25pm

Woooowwwwwwww, nice comment! I'll digress on it more! haha

<3

Cheers,

Light.

Comment by Bettina on July 27, 2015 at 7:39am

  I do understand you very well, I was in the same quest for perfection ... considering myself as someone with so many imperfections. Now I understand a little bit more, that everyone is on the way, and each phase is in the divine unity perfect for the individual person at that moment.

Even doubting of oneself is, seen in this way, a perfect stage leading you to learn to be more open, 

                                                       love, tina

Comment by Let there be Light on July 26, 2015 at 6:15pm

Hi Bettina!

I thought about perfection and decided to write this for you:

My idea of perfection is "sth without mistakes", which I believe is imperfect. However, I believe that God lives in me, therefore, there is a part of me which is perfect. It's a personal belief, but I always come back to "only perfect people can have the perfect idea of perfection" hahaha. Confusing, isn't it? But it's an abstract concept! I think the important thing right now is to make myself happy and full of love! Thanks for the loving comment!

Cheers!

Comment by Bettina on July 21, 2015 at 6:12am

  ... even if you're not perfect in your eyes, you are perfect !

  W h o limits you to live y o u r  life ?

  

  

  

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