Here I am on day 17 of my 100 day challenge feeling a little less focused then I would like to - but realizing that I am more focused than I feel. Does that make sense outside of my scattered little brain? I think the focus for which I was aiming looks a little different than the focus that I have achieved, hence the confusion. I am, however, still seeing amazing changes, reaping rewarding benefits and seeing excellent results.
So what's the problem? Really, there isn't one. I am being confronted with my need to release my perfectionistic ways. They serve no purpose other than to lead me straight down the path of sabotage, a path I consciously choose NOT to travel.
A path that I have recently travelled was through the Appalachian Mountains on my roadtrip back home to the place where I grew up. What a wonderful, beautiful experience that I continue to be so grateful to be having. The autumn expressions of color held as if just to bring my soul healing and joy. Fall is the time of year that I always feel a tug on the heartstrings as I really miss being home where experiencing the changing of the seasons was a rite of passage from one year to the next. The seasons don't really change in Texas; they are more like a year-round varying of the intensity of heat. Anything other than that is simply a fluke.
Being "back home" is so soothing. The tall trees and the lush greenery and the cold, crisp air and the big, fat snowflakes all put a song in my heart. I think the last time I was actually here was in 2002 or 2003. Let me tell you that 5-6 years leave some yearnings and I am so pleased to be satisfying them. What an impromptu gift I have been given in this trip. Thank you universe!!!!
This trip has also brought the reconnecting of family like a day never went by in almost thirty years. We meet again, all of us, in a house we shared over thirty years ago...even though each and every one of us had left it in the intervening years. Rather serendipitous, wouldn't you say?
I feel fresh and full...full of peace and contentment and serenity. I feel myself growing and stretching and releasing more and more resistance. I miss my husband and my kidlies but they are doing great and my heart is filled with even stronger desires to see them and wrap my arms around them and just bring our love closer together once again.