so my desires have really been evolving and with them so has my awareness of some things
this is what I used to want... to live a distinguished life, one of accomplishemnt (whatever that means) and purpose. I wanted to live somewhere noble where ppl were doing noble things like protecting the environment or contributing to society. I have wanted to be evrthg from a marine biologist to an academic researcher to a university professor to an orchestral member to most recently (though still some time ago...) a psychologist! I used to shun ppl who wanted to live in frivolous places like hawaii and be an actress, for ie. I wanted to do smthg meaningful like live in africa and help orphans
well if you know me at all (and a lot of you do), you know that alllll that has definitely changed!!! even as recently as a few of years ago I still felt some of these things. but through identifying what I REALLY really want, I know that I want a frivolous lifestyle!! fun, happy, free, living on beachfront in hawaii or maybe australia (and I used to think it was kind of a sell-out vacation place... no offense!)
I discovered just how much I LOVE hit music. like I mean I loooove the top 40! I love killer hooks and sweet topline melodies and thumping basslines. I love writing it! funny thing is that freedom is the most important thing in the world to me, yet I was on the path to becoming a U prof stuck in an office day in and day out and probably without a window!
not only that but I kind of want to jive with celebrities ") oh yeah and to marry bryan adams :) well, at least make out with him! and... I want a car worth 100 000 grand or more, why not? and I make fast and easy money without hardly doing anything! oh it's great!
I want rihanna to record a few of my songs and I want to rock out with the girls after a smashing concert they were performing in!
I am realising that all these things are just reflection of energy. and the more I come into alignment w/ who I really am, the more I think about them and thinking about them makes me feel fabulous! these fancy material things are just a reflection of the inner me! and certain celebrities just reflect my own creative high energy and free-flowing, accepting and successful state of mind. that's it!
in the past I would feel embarrassed about wanting these things. but no more! of course I want to travel to places like rome, egypt, africa, japan, experience culture. I still like and appreciate academics and miss it smtms. but I can't deny what it is that I really want and who I really am. I am not the uptight girl anymore who needed a high profile career to feel worthy and suffered in snow and freezing cold for many years because I thought it made me stronger. I am a beach girl! and I want to experience a bit of tinseltown!
I am soooo much more laid back and relaxed than I have ever been. and I really know what I want! It's awesome! so , what do you want? :)