Hey hello co-creators :) I tried to start a season last year in November, but it's really hard to feel like you deserve anything when you have depression and anxiety. Now that it's lifting, I figured this would be a good way to encourage myself to get back out there in the world and to just see what happens!
I find whenever I write these blog posts, it feels set in stone. Like I owe it to you guys to at least try.
One thing that I want to overcome is my social anxiety. I've developed it after getting depressed for about 2 months. I was in a really dark place, darker than before because this time, there wasn't really a reason behind it. It just came out of nowhere. I felt a lot of shame because of that. I felt like I lost trust in myself to interact with people. Like I didn't know who I was anymore and didn't know how to interact with people. I couldn't accept that. I always need to be perfect. But what I found out, was that people are there for you when you're not feeling well. Believe it or not.
I was always told to "buck up" when I was younger. That I don't deserve to feel bad because there's other kids who have it worst. Now in my adult life, I don't think I deserve to be taken care of or felt sorry for. Not that I want any pity. But I shouldn't be afraid to show my darker side. People can handle it. They really can. And those who can't have problems of their own they're dealing with, and that's ok.
Today I'm meeting a friend and visiting my old co-workers and also doing an interview. I am intending to be calm enthuse interactions and really take them in. With my higher self by my side. I know I'll be safe. I'll be able to jump in and take whatever is given to me. People like me...I just need to believe they like me. Social anxiety is no joke. But I know I'll defeat it.