Yesterday was my day 100 and I'm so happy to post - I did it! I found a wonderful new direction in my life, I'm moving there full steam ahead, and the ironic thing is, it was staring me in the face the entire time. I asked the Universe 'What was I born to do?' and for a new job or project that would make my soul sing and provide me with a good income. I'm going to become a full-time foster carer! We just had our panel interview on Day 98, and were approved with flying colours. One of the interviewers said to us 'Can you not buy a bigger house?' (so that we could support more children) - they are so happy with the work we've done in the past year!
I never thought I would do this! I've never had children - I 'learned' from my mum that children ruin your life, take away all your freedom, and taking care of them means you can't have a job or other interests apart from sewing and grocery shopping. I may have been mis-sold on some of those ideas! On a mental level I knew that wasn't the case but deep down I was always terrified of having children. I did equate them with sacrifices I wasn't willing to make - the death of my freedom.
Until it dawned on me, I'm not particularly 'free' in my 9-5 job. I feel bored by what i do, and living for weekends and days off. And I love working with childern! I'm grateful to my old job for teaching me skills that are so relevant to working with challenging kids - things like good communication and how to manage challenging behaviour. Because of our experience, Su and I have been introduced to some difficult kids - one who had even perpetrated abuse against other children. Each time we were worried that we wouldn't even like the child, because on paper they sounded so terrible. And each time we found them delightful, very likeable, despite their challenges. In fact, sometimes you can only admire the strategies they have adapted in order to survive their past. I enjoy showing them new, more socially acceptable ways to express themselves, and its amazing when they trust you enough to try it out. I'm rambling - I could write a book and I've only just started! But this work really feels worthwhile, and fun! I always felt that I was meant to work with children since I was about 13 - its really true that we are born with the enthusiasms that lead us to our life purpose.
Sometimes I feel afraid, but I know I'm going the right way. Now we're just waiting for a full-time placement to come up - probably in January. I'll reduce my hours at work and then eventually quit. Financially we will be just as well, if not better off. My partner feels the same way about all this - we both had our 'aha' moment over the same weekend, when we both thought - hey, we could do this all the time!
Love and Light to you all xxx