Yesterday the kids and I had a fabulous day, we enjoyed the sun and breeze and hung out with the neighbor down the street. Kids got to play her Guitar Hero and mommy got to sit and talk. It felt good to get out and be myself. We made plans for today, once the hubby gets home I plan on going.
Everything was quiet and fun, kids laughing but things changed once he arrived back home. He instantly wanted my cash and I didn't want to give it up. It was in the room, which would mean revealing where I hid the money. He told me he'd take my $40 and exchange it with his $50 so he could get something to eat. I was okay with the exchange but didn't want to get it in front of him. Told him okay I'd bring it to the car to him. He got mad, said, "Let me guess last hiding spot in the house so you don't want me to see." He nailed me. That was it. He got mad and stormed out, I was willinig just not for him to see where. When he came back (he went to ihop) he brought a starbucks with him. Ugh, makes it hard when I'm suppose to be cutting these out. (bad me, yes, I drank it)
Today he left for his work, will be back earlier this afternoon. Kids and I went for a walk, it was cold but nice. I have this thing when possible I walk through the cemetary, it's peaceful. Kids enjoy it too, today I was promising them they'd be happy and wouldn't have to worry. The next thing I know I see a friend's name (old ex) right in front of me. It was HUGE too, like screaming at me. Not sure but I felt it was some sort of sign, granted not sure what. But this FRIEND was the one I spoke of in the beginning here. Name not common and even there it was on two headstones but side by side. Biggest ones there too, never noticed them before. Maybe because there was a time when I was really, really happy and didn't fear anything. Not sure, but it made me feel good and I know things will eventually be okay.
I'm greatful for my kids today, my walk and the universe for giving me the time this weekend to enjoy all these things.