Day 15.............The Fog is clearing

My negativity sometimes gets the best of me. And exactly what I think happens, so this whole making your reality happen really works even when you don't want it to. I thought I was going to have a bad birthday and guess what? I made it happen. Not so good. But I have learned from it and ready to move past and make positive things happen. I even had a little melt down Monday night when Dana and I were going to bed. I just had such a disappointing day that I started crying my eyes out. I left the room before I could loose it right there in front of him. But I was apparently obvious and Dana came down to check on me. So there I was sitting with my knees to my face sitting on his kitchen floor sobbing. I was crying so hard that I couldn't talk. I hated feeling so depressed that all I could do is cry. Then seeing him there with pain in his face for me just made me cry harder. I feel horrible that he saw me so upset. He just sat down and begged me to tell him what was wrong. I couldn't even explain it to him. It made no sense why I was crying or why I was feeling so depressed. I just continued to sit there and cry. He just picked me up and held me and let me cry. That was the best medicine. I know that it was a lot of things that built up to that but I have to learn to not let my depression control me. My moods have been so good since I restarted my medication so I was not expecting the melt down. I never want him to see me like that again. It hurt him that I was hurting so bad. I need to be grateful for him and his love instead of always thinking the negative and saying how he could be better or love me better.

So today I am feeling much better. Two days after and I feel my moods are in check. I don't feel like bursting into tears and I am thinking positive! I need to continue to think positive not only for my journey but for my health. The negativity is a killer in my life. It so easily throws me into a bad depression and can be very harmful to my illness. So here I am declaring it once again that POSITIVITY rules my life. I should get it tattooed on me so I never forget.

Just staying positive for a day has made huge progress on my life. I got more work today and I am going to receive 3 more new projects and clients in the next 2 days. I am sooooooo excited for the work and the financial stability. I am getting my career back! I am talented and I am making the money I know I can! Now just keep looking forward and thinking good thoughts. I know that I am making my reality what I want it to be. Today has been pretty great and I know tomorrow is going to be AMAZING! Tomorrow will be everything I want it to be. Filled with happiness, love, affection, new work, new clients, great health, adventure, and growth in my relationships with Dana and my family. I am making tomorrow MY day! Tomorrow holds everything I want out of life and continues to give me the power to bring more tomorrows.

So on top of everything the fog is settling and I see clearer. I am not cluttered with garbage and bad thoughts. I feel good and healthy. I am successful. I am loved. I am happy. I am smart. I am deserving. I am loving. I am talented. I am rewarded. I have a great life. I am grateful. And I am here to make my affirmations a reality but to also give back and be thankful for everything I have in my life.

I am thankful for my life
I am thankful for my talent
I am thankful for Dana
I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for my wealth
I am thankful for myself
I am thankful for love
I am thankful that I can love
I am thankful that I am loved
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for focus
I am thankful for work
I am thankful for my clients
I am thankful.

LOVE