It is funny really! Because today is my last "sales day"... My salary this month is under $500... and I really, rationally speaking, dont have a clue of what am I to do... "Cut her head!" seems to be saying the Queen of Hearts from my taort sitting on the table!
This is happening actually because I started following my heart in my life... again. I've always had. Sometimes it just feels stronger than me.
See!? The main situation is that I don't like my job.. and it seems my job doesn't like me either... hahaha! So I am really doing an effort to get fired (Not consciously... not totally conscious at least). And right now I do not have an option. I do not have a clue of what am I going to do, either to live in May or as work in May...
But ,,,,something is coming... I do know something is coming... I just don't have an idea, not even the slightest idea of what!
So, now... I just have to see what's next... Where is this road taking me...What is the next miracle that will happen in my life...
Historically, and since I was a kid I used to love getting lost.... You see, I am a Traveler. And travelers, we love to discover places, things, people, details... And all of a sudden... Bamm! We open our eyes around us, and we don't have a clue where we are! And so... if you don't get scared, it can really get to be a fun thing... You walk, you follow signs, see that tall tree from the distance and you say..."I saw that tree on the way in!... Is that way!". And it feels funny when finally I find the way back... there is a relief, yes.. but also a bit of a distant deception, because finding the way out means that the adventure is over.
Whenever I have traveled, all throughout my life, I just love to put on some soft shoes and start walking until I get lost.. Just to feel the adventure, the question, the journey. And the way back home.
So...woooppps! Here I am... again lost... and ready to start the way back home.
I DO have to cut my head off... Stop thinking.. Stop wondering.. Mainly just trust. Again.