The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Day 22 So! I am lost again! ..."Cut her head! Cut her head!"


It is funny really! Because today is my last "sales day"... My salary this month is under $500... and I really, rationally speaking, dont have a clue of what am I to do... "Cut her head!" seems to be saying the Queen of Hearts from my taort sitting on the table!


This is happening actually because I started following my heart in my life... again.   I've always had. Sometimes it just feels stronger than me.

See!? The main situation is that I don't like my job.. and it seems my job doesn't like me either... hahaha! So I am really doing an effort to get fired (Not consciously... not totally conscious at least). And right now I do not have an option. I do not have a clue of what am I going to do, either to live in May or as work in May...

But ,,,,something is coming... I do know something is coming... I just don't have an idea, not even the slightest idea of what!

So, now... I just have to see what's next... Where is this road taking me...What is the next miracle that will happen in my life...


Historically, and since I was a kid I used to love getting lost.... You see, I am a Traveler. And travelers, we love to discover places, things, people, details... And all of a sudden... Bamm! We open our eyes around us, and we don't have a clue where we are! And so... if you don't get scared, it can really get to be a fun thing... You walk, you follow signs, see that tall tree from the distance and you say..."I saw that tree on the way in!... Is that way!". And it feels funny when finally I find the way back... there is a relief, yes.. but also a bit of a distant deception, because finding the way out means that the adventure is over.

Whenever I have traveled, all throughout my life, I just love to put on some soft shoes and start walking until I get lost.. Just to feel the adventure, the question, the journey. And the way back home.


So...woooppps! Here I am... again lost... and ready to start the way back home.


I DO have to cut my head off... Stop thinking.. Stop wondering.. Mainly just trust. Again.

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Comment by Maria on April 30, 2011 at 9:41pm

Hi Miracle Maker,


I will post a video about a similar situation that happened to me in 2009.  Until then, I know it seems like you are lost, but in reality, you are about to find your true self.


Being in a job that you don't enjoy is not living at all.  I will tell you this, when I "lost my job"  I too started reflecting on my life from childhood and up and realized that all of my adult life was filled with misery.  So, I took the free time that I had while out of work and sort of reverted back to childhood.  (In a healthy way). 


Since you will have some free time on your hands; thank the universe for it and use this time to explore other people and yourself.   Even if you just go to the park each day and swing on a swing set you will start to experience joy and I guarantee that once that feeling of youth comes back into your life, everything else will fall into place. 


Your outlook is good. If you like traveling and being on a journey, you are already on your way.  You, are on the road to happiness.  Just remember, be free, spontaneous and childlike and everything will work out on this journey.  

Comment by Miracle Maker on April 30, 2011 at 12:58pm

Oh My God Lilie! That is such a beautiful metaphor! So good and so accurate!

I thank you so much for that!

I really think that is like that. It feels like when you are writting a story... that all of a sudden it becomes alive and you write to see what comes next...  I feel exactly like that!

I know I have to trust, blindly.. just TRUST.


Comment by Lilie on April 30, 2011 at 11:55am

My sweet Olga,


You know, I love use this metaphor. 

When you're playing music, and practicing a lot (everyday, 4-6 hour/day) your instrument, you're improve a lot your playing. You can see your progress. up, up, up, up.... And a day... Nothing... It could stay at the same level, or go down.... But no up... Not at all... Somtimes just few times, or few days, or few weeks...
When thiq happened, and it happens to every musician, you have to continue to practice, without asking question.... you practice, you play, you practice, you play... No up, but you continue to practice.... Don't ask yourself any questions.  

And one day... MIRACLE: an incredible, an amazing UP!!!! One day! Then you continue to practice, with so more confidence... up, up, up, up... And a day.... Down, or same level... So, practice again, again, etc....


Do you see what I mean? 

When you're on the right way, there are lots of up. But it is totally normal to have big down, or bug nothing... Because the Universe is preparing you to an incredible UP!!!


So.... When you feel the down, be really confident... it is because UP is coming!!!!


Love, love, love, love 

Comment by Carrie on April 30, 2011 at 11:05am

LOVE this!!!!!


Something is the distance. Just start walking ;o)   



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