The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Day 25, Season 10, old memories and experiences...the need to deal with them....yet again!

Dear Co-creators,

I was faced yet again with a challenge this week. I think I have already spoken about how scared I am of relationships. If something is going good, I just have this fear I am going to ruin it and I try and run away from it completely. My fear is a result of some unpleasant experiences that happened during my childhood and some bad relationships as an adult too. So, I know its not a simple question but how how how do you get over all this? How do you get to believe that your are worthy of all good things in life. Are you ever done with the healing process in life? Is there ever a moment when you feel ok I am done with this? I am ready to move on!

I know all questions will lead to this: LOVE YOURSELF. I get distracted time and again. But I think its time I make peace with certain things in my life and set myself free! We got one life, I want to live it to the fullest! Make the most of what I have....be able to really love the ones I really love! LOVE MYSELF...LOVE MY WORK....LOVE EVERY CHOICE I HAVE EVER MADE OR WILL MAKE....

Apart from this huge challenge, I have set yet another challenge for myself: GET FIT! TONE UP! 6 weeks...6 weeks. essentially a 60 day challenge you could say....I am going to break this into 15 days and splurge (eating wise) once in 15 days. I am dead serious this time! 

However, advise on my first query most welcome...

Love you co-creators!

V!

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Comment by Andy B on January 31, 2013 at 9:14am

It's a process, that's all I can say. Everyone's situation is different, I'm currently looking a bit at the subject of past lives and whether they could have influenced some of my thought patterns .. I have had major fears around relationships and it's taking a long time to work through it .. stay strong!

Comment by Raizel on January 30, 2013 at 11:56am

Sounds like you already have all the answers. It IS tougher than it sounds, I know that very well myself. My current solution is that I'm just avoiding relationships alltogether (not saying that i recommend that to you :D)

Comment by Julia on January 30, 2013 at 5:31am

Hi V, 

in the past I had the same problem, I was breaking up with every guy I was and not because something bad happened, I actually was treated very well by my ex-boyfriends. My now boyfriend broke the spell. I started to date him not intended to stay in a long relationship but just to let it flow and except everything to come and now we are still together 2 years after. 

However I thing id does come to love yourself but as secondary. I now know for me it was and still is to forgive myself. I am not sure if you have the same feelings but I always mean to be responsible for my actions so if I don't have anything I blame myself. By now I have been blaming myself for so many things that I constantly feel guilty and not deserving good things which is why I started to meditate. So while meditating I keep telling myself that I forgive myself, that I am not guilty and I repeat it many many times. I must say it helps. But I just started meditating, so can't really say if that goes away. But try it for a few weeks, maybe it will help you as well. Here the website I started to meditate with, but you can of course any way you like http://www.onlinemeditation.org/meditation-class-4/guided-meditation/

Comment by Sunny Side Up on January 29, 2013 at 5:39pm

Just remember that all relationships are relationships--with your family, friends, teachers, etc. So maybe you can reframe your thought that you are "bad with relationships." Likely that is just plain untrue. Just take it one day at a time. As your anxiety rises, step back and try to figure out what you are responding to---is it something that really happened or your fear that something will happen? Make sure to stay IN THE MOMENT and check in with others if you feel unsure about how you are doing. You don't have to love every choice you have ever made, but you can forgive yourself for poor choices and think about what you would do next time. Ultimately yes it all comes down to self acceptance and loving yourself. Good luck! Sending love and light to you!

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