The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Day 3 : It's a little tough, and I need some advice.

I've been having a difficult time detaching myself from my worries and my problems. Even after my 20 minute meditations at night, I'm still tense, and wound up.

With this amount of tension and worry, I haven't been able to meditate, visualize, or say my affirmations effectively. =\

Does anyone have any advice on just winding down, and detaching oneself from worries and problems? Even when I take that alone time, I'm just so irritable and upset. I want this to work, but with this anxiety, I'm not really sure what to do.

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Comment by Candy Apple Andy on October 21, 2011 at 12:31am

Thank you all for the insight and advice. I've been feeling much better.

I'm been thinking of different ways to lower my anxiety, to take that energy, and to put it towards better things in my life. I may not know exactly "how" to do this yet, but the fact that I want to and I am willing to is a great step and what I can do right now. I'll just be more grateful, try to be more positive, and believe good things are coming for starters. I'll ask for help and guidance on the "how." '

And also, I've always wanted to learn a martial art, and do dancing! So I'll perhaps try to do that too. :)

I've really taken all this advice into account. :) It really has helped me. And I sincerely thank you all.

I do think I started this journey on the wrong foot. I'm going to try to start next Sunday from Square one.

 

Comment by Jill on October 20, 2011 at 3:22pm

Ladies, Sharon here has hit the nail on the head. I myself don't use the word "wish" as it brings the thought that the desired can go either way. I use "intend". It is more solid... and yes what word you use in every instance is very important. Otherwise, Sharon here has very good / excellent recommendations. Don't do anything you don't find joy in. This is not your purpose. Your purpose is to live your life in love and joy and if you are not enjoying what you are doing...STOP! It you are doing something that is required of you as Sharon say, find an inch of joy in it.

You see the Universe has an abundance of opportunities and if you limit yourself to doing stuff/junk that you don't enjoy..you will most definitely miss the boat of opportunity.

If you enjoy being with your boyfriend.....forget the exercise and go be with him.

If the problem is at home...intend to change the situation and find a joyful solution. If the solution doesn't come to your mind right away...ask the Universe for guidance.*** Remember when you ask the Universe, be mindful and pay attention to all synchronicities that come your way. In the mean time be abundantly grateful for a piece of your current situation, find some small part of what you are going thru to be grateful for. We must always stay in gratitude for our NOW that we are experiencing.  It is in this gratitude that propels us to a situation that brings more of the same in abundance. With this you will soon find yourself in a situation that will blow your mind.

Remember you are the creator...never lose site of that. You create the situation at home. You create never seeing your boyfriend or taking 5 minutes to say hi to him on the phone. You create no funds for education. If you put as much energy that you do in creating all this, just think how you can put as much energy to create something different and more desirable.

All that happens to you is not because of some mysterious outside source. Its YOU!

You are the only one allowing yourself to get stressed out and full of anxiety.

Blessings to you all, Jilly

At: Sherry...Aiea huh, I lived in Hawaii for several years and met my hubby of 30 years in Hawaii. Some of his family still lives there and he visits more often than I. It does have a unique beauty, and I reserve it for visits. I just can't stand the heat and I love my four seasons. Aloha my freind...lol...haven't heard "okole" in a long time...lol

***Footnote to the Astrix above.

The Universe/God/Source does not create for us. It guides us to create for ourselves. WE are Creators.

Realize that up till NOW, you have created your reality. All that was your doing. How about that for a

"ah ha moment"!

Comment by Sharon on October 20, 2011 at 12:36pm

Hi, Candy,

I totally feel you. I myself has been in this status for God knows how long time. Probably for two years. There are constant voices in my mind fighting each other and the more they fight, they more they became. And I've been trying all methods to stop that, and frankly it will get better for a few days and then backfire.

So I think maybe we are trying too hard. If our life situation is not as good as we hoped, shall we just wish for a better situation and then try less? Don't force yourself to do things that you don't feel like doing and only do things that you feel good and must do. If you do have to work for longer hours for the tuition fee - accept it and do it devotedly if not totally happily and wish for the universe to bring you more money and a better job?

List your situations and think about possible solutions, if there're no obvious solution that you feel aligned with, then keep wishing for a new one.

Meanwhile, treat yourself nicely and if you don't feel like doing meditation, don't do it. If you can't do the meditation well, don't blame yourself for that. How many people in this world could actually always achieve the best meditation?

Also find something that could de-stress you and do it all the time. I'm now doing thai boxing twice a week - totally exhausted physically but it could bring me a good night sleep at least.

Don't know if this is helpful but hope you will feel better soon.

Lots of support.

Comment by Sherry-Ann "Sherry" Stowell on October 20, 2011 at 12:19am

WOW, that's totally rough what you're going through. Isn't it strange...you live in Detroit, MI and I live in Aiea, HI, yet we have almost identical problems! My heart goes out to you. I know what you're going through. Yes, I will agree with Jilly in that you need to deal with the root cause of the problem. Perhaps by managing that will help alleviate your stress levels. But I don't know about that...there will always be another problem, another challenge to deal with. I think that if you find ways to manage your anxiety and stress, you will be able to have a clearer view about what is going on and maybe be able to make some decisions with calmness and clarity, not based on being pressured out. Sometimes, those decisions come back to bite us in the okole (butt).

 

By the way, what are you taking up in school? Are you fulltime or parttime? I attend a two-year college and it's KILLING me tuitionwise. I am not going to school this quarter, because my priority is to find a fulltime job. Once I get one and know my schedule, then I will decide if I am able to go to classes or will have to do them online. The job market here in Hawaii sucks big time. I have been on so many interviews it's not funny. Coupled with our high cost of living and you can see what I mean. If Hawaii wasn't so beautiful I wouldn't stay here anymoe. How are your grades? Are they good enough to get into an honor society? If you have good grades, you might be able to qualify for scholarships and grants. BUT...it takes A LOT of hard work to go after them. If you're working fulltime, you probably make too much to qualify for a Pell Grant.

 

Anyways, hang in there. I could tell you all the fluffy, feel good things like you are unique, you are special and priceless...which you are. But it don't mean a lick of spit if I or anyone else in your life says that to you if you deep down inside don't feel it. Time for you to make a paradigm shift in your thinking. I know it's hard. I'm going through it too. But I do have glimmers of hope, which are coming more often :)

Comment by Candy Apple Andy on October 19, 2011 at 9:35pm

Hi Jilly.

I'm gonna post some things that seems to trigger anxiety in my body. 

For one, it's my family. I have some trouble at home, and I do my best to manage it (one of the reasons I need to move.) I'm responsible for others in my home as well as myself.

Money is a problem. Finding ways to afford tuition, but stressing myself out over jobs where I don't get paid very much, and being a full-time student at the same time. 

I've been having self-confidence and self-esteem problems, as they have been quite low lately, lower than they have been in a while. I'm trying to exercise to "correct" it, instead of accepting myself and just exercising for health and overall improvement. 

With my schedule of my schooling and work, find myself alone quite often. My boyfriend has been seeing himself through even tougher difficulties than I have, so we have barely found the time to even call each other on the phone. 

Comment by Jill on October 19, 2011 at 7:29pm

Hi CAA, I saw your smiling face on your icon and thought ...hmmm what is she up to. Never did I imagine the argument you are having with yourself.

When these feelings of anxiety come to you...start asking yourself some questions. You see most times, people listen to untruths their mind is telling them. Its difficult for me to zero in on your trigger, as you didn't state what it was that is making you worried. Until you figure this out there is no higher power or exercise that will help you (respectfully disagreeing with Sherry). You see until you address the situation, you will find yourself reliving the same, over and over again. You will also find yourself exercising again and again for the wrong reason and seeking a GOD in the heavens to take care of the worry again and again.

You are the creator of your reality. So create it. Go ahead and don't let fear get in the way. If your mind tells you to worry about something that is untrue....don't listen. Correct your mind.

Can you give me an example of what is worrying you or causing you to create anxiety in your body.That's right...I said you are creating the anxiety in your body. You are. Lets not skirt around the issue. Any anxiety you are experiencing...you created. You see CAA, you are creating your experiences.

Love and Light...J

Comment by Candy Apple Andy on October 19, 2011 at 6:20pm

Thank you Sherry. :)

Today I was struggling with the same problems, and I even saw how the anxiety was beginning to take shape in aspects of my life: I was late for class. I bought something and lost it IMMEDIATELY after I bought it (my mind was all over the place). And I had a tight a ball in my stomach. 

 

I've been trying to exercise more each day; I'm aiming for 300 minutes a week. But I was even making a big stressful deal out of that! But, I do need to get more faith God, in myself, and in everything being okay. 

 

I'm going to hand these problems over like you said. And I also need to learn to ask for help from God and his angels. I  need to take it easy and find a way to look forward to exercise instead of looking at it as a chore to shed fat and lower my weight. 

 

Thank you for the advice and the support. :) Sending love your way. <3 

Andy

Comment by Sherry-Ann "Sherry" Stowell on October 19, 2011 at 4:04pm

Aloha! I saw your post on the main board as I was getting ready to sign off. After reading it, I figured it was meant to be that I comment, so here goes :)

I know how you feel. I am the same way. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and literally feel this weight settle heavily on my chest: all of the worries and stressors of living life, wondering what is going to happen when the "hammer" drops, etc. Sometimes, I'd get so anxious that I would not want to leave the house. It got so bad that I went from being a productive, fulltime college student (averaging a 3.515 gpa) to leaving right in the middle of the quarter and BARELY making it to my parttime job because I just needed the money so badly that I HAD to get over my anxiety attacks.

I am not saying this so that you can feel sorry for me. I'm just showing you that we all have our anxieties and stressors. It's how we manage them that will make the difference in our lives. For me, if I kept on with the stressors, I would have become sicker and sicker. I would have alienated all the people who I love and who love me. I'm surprised that I am not alone right now, because I put my family through Hell, due to my anxiety issues.

Okay, moving out of this negativity and onward...

I have some suggestions that work for me and might work for you. But you have to make the choice to do something to get out of it. It's all up to you. Here are my suggestions:

  1. Having a Higher Power (Someone or Something greater than you) is a HUGE help! When you are feeling tense, anxious and upset where you feel you have nowhere else to go, just lift up your hands in exasperation and say "OKAY, I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! YOU TAKE IT H.P. (in my case, it's God who is Large and In Charge)" THEN...YOU HAVE TO LET IT GO. Stop taking it back. You have to think of these stressors, worries, problems as a disease, attacking your body. And trust me, stress will do that to you. GIVE IT UP, AND GIVE IT TO SOMEONE/SOMETHING GREATER THAN YOU. You will not regret it.
  2. If you have an imagination, you can VISUALIZE...and that's the beginning of you MANIFESTING. Just start with the basics...we do this every day of our lives...what are we going to do today??? Instead of worrying about what needs to be done, focus on what you WANT to get done, i.e., I will get out of bed today and take an awesome shower. Maybe I'll go for a cup of coffee at McDonald's. Or I'll call a friend and we can run errands together. Once you accomplish those things that you set to do for yourself, you can move onto other tasks. Keep it simple at first. When you're feeling more confident, then you can do higher level stuff.
  3. You know what's a good stress buster? Exercise! Not necessarily the Insanity kind of exercise, but could be something simple as going for a nice walk in the cool evening. I live near the beach, and when it gets really bad, I just go there around sunset, breathe in the fresh air, watch the beautiful sunset colors while I go for a little dip in the water. Just getting up and out increases your level or endorphins, which is what's going to REALLY help out in the stress department. Besides, it's an inexpensive way to make you feel better...

Finally, every time you have a SMIDGEN of a stressful thought, GET RID OF IT QUICKLY or it will grow to a full-on anxiety attack. Try the above mentioned methods or other ones that will do the trick for you. What may work for me might not work for you, so keep trying to find things that can decrease your level of stress and tension in your life. This is MUY IMPORTANTE, so that you don't develop any chronic, stress related illnesses which will DEFINITELY affect your quality of life. GOOD LUCK. I am confident that you can do it!

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