The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Day 35 - Resentment + annoying people

Hello everybody and hello weekend! My kids are in bed, I have about half an hour before they wake up. It is such a lovely day, the sun is shinning, I made an incredible raw desert and I will have the weekend off. Next week will be hectic again (so much work), so I need to relax as much as I can.

So ... Louise Hay talks about resentment a lot. I admit that I have hard time forgiving people. Sometimes I just cannot let go. My dad is the best example. I really don't like the way he is treating her and I talked to him about it sooo many times! It's really not nice. His dad treated my grandma the same way. When he gets frustrated at something, he starts yelling at me as well. Insulting and yelling. Most of the time he is sorry after the event, but I just cannot forget or forgive. I am trying to move on, but every time I see him, I am afraid that he will be annoyed and cranky. I'm very sensitive and I actually feel physical pain when I am stressed. How to forgive? I also noticed, that when he is in bad mood, I get defensive and I am not as pleasant as I want to be.  Vicious circle.

This weekend will be a family weekend again. We will spend Saturday and Sunday together in our vacation house. Us 4, my dad and my mother. I am trying as hard as I can to visualize a nice family weekend, great relationships and peaceful mind. I decided that I am going to be nice with him all weekend. Even if he gets annoying, I will be kind and I will not raise my voice. We will see what happens.

What do you do with people like that?  I cannot avoid him, because he is my dad. on the other hand, he is amazing with my kids...

 

Have a great weekend!

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Comment by Aniamia on April 6, 2014 at 9:43pm

Hi Sophie love reading your blogs and this one spoke to my heart. I am working for last few weeks with affirmation which is to help to forgive my mum and love her no matter what. Our parent are often the best with teaching us life lesson, while pushing all our buttons. It is not easy I tell you but knowing that they are doing the best they can in given moment with what tools they have helps me. My affirmation to help me with that is "I am loved. I forgive you and I love you" very simple but powerful one for me anyway. Having picture of my mum in front of me and using this affirmation with love is very healing. All the best lovely :-)

Comment by Sunny Side Up on February 28, 2014 at 11:42pm

Can you tell your dad how you feel? That you love the way he is with your kids but that he makes you feel bad and actually sick when he yells at you and others. Ask him if he could please try to not yell. that you love him and want to have a peaceful weekend all together. You can forgive your dad, he is probably doing what he has learned from his experience, but that doesn't mean that you should put yourself in the position of being treated badly. You have to take care of yourself. You are number one. If he doesn't change his behavior, I would suggest limiting your time with him. You do not deserve to suffer.

Comment by Diana Ruiz on February 28, 2014 at 7:23pm

Lol.. P.S I think I should have made a more concise post:

When you feel these "annoying" people getting to you, re-focus your attention to something that makes you feel like it feeds your soul. Something that reminds you of who you are, so that these people can't control or derail you from remembering. Not only does that rob them of your attention,  but it helps to nourish your soul. <3 

Comment by Diana Ruiz on February 28, 2014 at 7:20pm

Hello Sophia!

Please remember this: If someone is grumpy or angry... and shouts obscenities at you.. it's easy to take it personal, because they are not respecting you or treating you like a decent human being should treat you, right?

Guess what?

That's THEIR problem. Not yours. Even if they think the worst about you, that's their business. Not yours. What others think about you is none of your business. Your business is to take care of your own flaws because that's a legit problem for you. It's a problem because your flaws are what hinder you from being happy.

I'm not talking about vanity flaws, or flaws that are from the outside perspective looking in. I'm talking about character traits that no longer serve us.

I have forgiveness problems, too. It's a flaw I willingly admit. But who becomes the prisoner of such resentment? The target... or you? 

The answer, unfortunately, is the latter. Hatred consumes the hater and not the hated. 

So that's how I deal with people like that. I just don't give them the power of my attention. You do realize your attention is INCREDIBLY POWERFUL, right? This is why there are people who will do anything for fame. The attention of a single individual is amazing energy. Use it wisely. ;)

And good luck! Have a happy weekend, I will send you some positive energies in hopes that it all goes smoothly. So when you feel you are slipping, know you've got someone behind you. Rooting for you.

YOUR SUPPORT IS NEEDED!

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