Day 37, Season 10, Loving yourself

Dear Co creators,

Isn't it wonderful how one being with some people helps even if we think they are difficult, they wake us up! Now, I am about to go on a holiday near a beach. I think my friend is thinking like others I too will participate in lying around in a bikini. Except here's my problem: I think I am out of shape. I don't think I have a bikini body. Once again, I realised: why don't I love myself just the way I am. And who the hell cares, its my holiday too. I matter! So, whatever I wear should be what I want to wear. Right? Except this is a make or break holiday for me with him. Again, why am I thinking so much about him rather then me. I have been working out for ages and been wanting flat abs for ages except it seems like a viscous circle. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just let go, do whatever it takes to make me feel good. And let everything else take its own course. Everyone comments how toned I have become except I don't see it. I have always believed this one thing: When you love someone, be prepared to set them free. I have always been like that in relationships. I would never interfere too much in other person's life more then what they tell me. I love them for who they are and leave it at that. However, when it comes to myself why is it so difficult? Am I trying to hard? One thing I am going to start today just to shift my vibration is start being grateful for the way I am, each and every body part of mine, right here....in one of the groups. I used to do that earlier, don't know why I stopped. Grateful as I am to him for waking me up, I need to tune in to the feeling good about myself vibration once again.

Have a good week co-creators!