I am sending lots of love to all those people who have served others and sacrificed their own good, sometimes their own life for others. Today in the United States we remember and honor the people that served our country. I remember them and send my respects. I did reiki today for the whole universe, just sent love and gratitude to anyone in the world who needs it.
I am so grateful, so thankful for what this season has brought me so far. I started this season feeling like I was at a new level in my life, but I couldn't real get in touch with what to do next, where I was or where I was going. To go even FARTHER back... when I started with CCOR... I new I just had to get out of my mothers home, into some good supportive relationships and a good jobs...and closer to the beach. Mission accomplished!! And then.....that fog got me again! I need to move on from this...I need to do something deeper that is more aligned with me.....but what?!?!?!? What AM I aligned with.
I meditated ALOT on what I felt I needed/wanted. I googled images of those words....and cutted and pasted myself a specific vision board. A vision board that was different than what I had made in the pasts. I long for the pieces of my life to come together in a formula that spells out ease and authentic creativity with abundance and luxary...a way to give more in a way I never have before, with more support and comfort than ever before. This feels somewhat forgein and uncomfortable....but I am learning to ride it out!
This season, BIG BIG things are coming clear to me. This job is only good for loving my patients and myself with Kuan Qun's compassion. Boundaries to show me to GIVE OF myself and not GIVE UP myself. I still struggle here...but the knots are getting looser. and to SAVE MONEY and move myself to the next position.
The next position is not totally clear, but what I see now...that I couldn't before I started this season: I need to give some serious love to myself before I give more to others on a regular basis. I see all this pics from the vision board and they are all so relaxing so healing.....I have thought about opening a retreat 1000 times...but how?! I have a small down payment I was planning on using for a house...but the more I work on myself and tune with my true song.. the more I see I do not want a house...I HAVE a house...my grandparents cabin in the mountains!!! I CAN take that money...and buy some new beds...and look in to zoning and I could MAKE THAT A Yoga Retreat!!!!! The other day I MADE and AWESOME AD for it...started to imagine the activities that the week would hold...meditation , destination yoga!! It would take a little money on my part to set up the details.....really organize what I want...but I figured I could start...and the ideas do not stop coming to me!!
Some thing else that came to me this weekend was.....My friend has an apartement in Oakland I could rent..she is looking for a good tenant...and it is RIGHT NEAR the cheapest acupuncture school in the area....I have been thinking so much more about natural healing modalities. This modern world of medicine is not for me!!
Also....if I am working a lot more in the cabin, it would be a good place to write...like I have always wanted to do.
Most of all...it will get me out of the rat race that somehow I got involved with. I know many people live in rat races all the time but it is not for me! I do not feel rat race life is for me...so I am getting out! I am learning to accept that I am sensitive, I am sensitive to energies, anger happy sad yucky, loud noises, sensitive to other people, energy of places....Learning to respect this truth has been helpful. This I have learned about this season,
ALSO!!! SO far I have lost about 10 pounds or so. I can feel it in my clothes. I have really been working on exploring what has been behind my tendency to eat emotionally...and that has been helpful....working to identify emotions other than...HUNGRY!!!
SO, yup...that's about it! Still rocking the vision board, rocking the meditation, reiki, CCOR, and the groups on here keep me listing of what I am grateful for...etc... Just staying open to myself as I evolve.
Thanks peeps!! you guys are amazing...and awesome group of co- creators!!!!!!!!!!!!!