42 days in to Season 3. Wow. I just wanted to write a blog about how I'm feeling right now. Yesterday was Christmas and it was okay. I didn't really get a lot but its okay, I'm really okay with that. I've realized a long time ago that this holiday is not about the material. Honestly I think this holiday is total crap. First, its not Jesus' real birthday, his birthday is actually sometime in late spring/early summer. Secondly, I know its a ploy for millions of companies to get you to spend your money. Third, even though this holiday is supposed to be about Jesus, we get so consumed in buying gifts and who got what and feeling bad because we can't afford this, or nobody got me anything, etc. But I digress.
Yesterday as well as the past couple of weeks have been weeks of reflection and appreciation. I have been blessed with a lot, yes, I've been through a lot too, but I really feel like its preparation for the bigger things he has in store for me. He had to shift some things around. I spent some time with my step-family and at first I didn't want to be there. When my step father picked me up, he seemed to have a not so nice attitude towards me, like he really didn't care to be bothered with me, and being in his presence made me realized all these years of being so sad about him not being around or not being with my mom are OVER. YIPPEE! I was so depressed as a child and it really shaped and formed who I am. Its still going to have an effect on me but its not going to ever overwhelm me nor control me.I just really got to see him for who he really has become and why would I want that in our lives? I don't! All I can do is pray for him.
If you've read my blog before I have mentioned that my mom's car engine is gone, so that means no car right now in this cold snowy weather. You would think since my mom is always helping people out, giving them rides, going out of her way. People would be happy to help her/us out. Nope. People have been ignoring calls, making up excuses, and just not being there. Its nothing we're not use to. I will say I am very proud of us, because we are not bitter about it we are still optimistic and have our heads up and being grateful for what we do have. This is just driving us to be better and do better. We know we're going to get new cars so we don't sweat it right now we're just putting everything in God's hands.