As I did my morning meditation , deep thoughts throughout the day while writing these thoughts down . I realized I had more power / control over my current circumstances and how I tend to degrade my control to make others feel better or to avoid any arguments or tension. But I realize when I make these choices to dim my light and let my voice be heard they build up to the point that I no longer want this reality. I may affirm them to others, but I do not stand my ground nor do I keep myself accountable for what it is I affirmed.
Hubby moved his things to the attic. After some storms and what not we realized that the attic cannot be used for a bedroom due to mold and I was getting very vocal about how I want my home to look and be like. So he made the attic is 'man cave'. Well, now that he's moved I now have all access to the 1st and 2nd floor and to decor it the way I wish. I'm learning if I want something I must do it myself and so I am going to take my own money and purchase the little things I want to make my home feel and look like a home and not some shack that we just living out of to get by.
Hubby has been talking about 'the plans' to move to ATL, but as I mentioned before I will go with the flow of things and see how things are instead of trying to avoid or plan anything when it comes to this. I would love to move back to ATL, but what about my plans? Where do my goals and dreams fall into place with this. I made sure to affirm with the hubby what I plan on doing for 2013 and that is invest more in my business, home, kids, and myself. I refuse to back down on any of these things and if investing in our home also means making moves to ATL then that's what I will do, but only if I feel comfortable enough to make that risk (hubby has to have a job and we already have a home to go to). I don't feel comfortable going back down there and even though he has a job we have to stay in hotel rooms. I rather we go down there and everything is set up and all I have to do is set up the kids' schooling and doctors.
At the end of November I affirmed to make $200 by Dec 6th. I did , but I didn't have access to it and as I am clearing out any funds that I had with affiliate programs and prepare for my monthly payments from majority of other affiliate programs. I realized if I calculate all my cash + what I received in products/services I made well over $500 and that only confirms to me that I am capable to achieve the desired income I want. But I realized that I am not budgeting the way I am suppose to so I can receive a bigger income. I am not holding myself accountable for the intentions that I set out.
All week I have been having moments of irritation and frustration, but I have been catching myself before it goes into any deeper thought and allowing myself to shift my thoughts and emotions to appreciate the moment and to visualize what it is that I truly desire and not what I want.
Even though I have been doing this for 4 yrs it feels like I am a newbie and each day I am reminded to keep myself in check and to follow the steps that are needed in order to flow towards what it is that I desire.
My Intentions ~
Until next time
Love & Light