Wow, through work in the Master Key system, there has been this incredible enlightening happening within me releasing my inner questions of the outer world.
As Carl Sagan said, "If you want to bake an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". Through discussions....I am recalling moments when I was a child. I would go outside....late at night....and lay in the grass while staring at the stars. II don't really know what I thought about...my current thoughts most likely pollute what I considered then. I do remember trying to visualize "nothingness". Much to the aggravation of my father, I continued to ask questions about space, heaven, the heavens, god, the sky, the vastness of the cosmos...of course at that age, I had no understanding that my young, innocent and insatiable thirst about the insignificance of my existence....was a simple mirror of the same curiosity that others repress primarily due to fear.
I guess I am coming to understand that I see the world....the universe....the cosmos....in different but similar means that the majority of the population of the earth. It's funny, I spent a great deal of energy TRYING to be different and unique in dramatic ways through my human experience....and in this very subtle difference, I find the most dramatic deviation of all.
What is this deviation? The willingness to stare into the void. Not only stare into it....to have a dialog with it....to ask it questions....to gain an understanding of it. The willingness to talk to the unknown....to ponder the unknown. I have come to grasp this idea that eventhough we have this tremendous gift - the capacity to contemplate our own existence....our own non-existence....our own essence....few of us do.
When I asked around, I got countless answers on the topic of why people DID NOT question such things. One was the idea of a grand design which was infallible....meaning that all we needed to do was live our lives never questioning....as even the simple act of questioning would upset the subtle balance of things. This one I never really understood....because if there was a grand and infallible master plan....it has to have planned to accommodate the occasional question....otherwise from the first scientific reasoning....we would have been destroyed as a an unsuitable species.
One of the other answers I got was that "we" are too busy leading our lives....doing things...that if we started to contemplate these grand notions....our life would become hampered or bogged down in the exploration of meaningless rhetoric. That without blind acceptance of the understandings of science, math, religion....I would become a crippled mass of flesh and my mind locked in some sort of state unable to perform functions like brushing my teeth. You may think I exaggerate,,,,but that was an actual retort I received on the topic.
Specifically math. I hated math as an early youth....lots of repetition....lot's of boredom. I remember an argument with a teacher when I was learning to multiply large numbers. You remember.....like say 4357 X 2687....and the teacher had an exceptional way of simplifying it....showing us how simple it all was....it was the first time I enjoyed math. But it went on like that over and over and over.....we must have spent what seemed like weeks on the topic. So wise-ass 7 or 8 year old me decides to do this test at some point where I just wrote a bunch of nonsense answers to the questions. I literally didn't see the point in spending the energy on it any more. So I got a zero....then the argument ensued....if I know how to do it....why on earth do I need to repeat it for weeks on end. Well that seems to have set down a gauntlet to my teacher....because I ultimately ended up in remedial school thanks to my holding onto my lofty principals.
After a year in the remedial learning program, I guess I figured out how to keep my head down & eyes forward in order to stay under the radar. Because....wow if I thought learning math in 'regular' school was boring....I certainly learned a new definition of the term b---o----r----i----n----g---------that warped time into an expanding nature that I swear ran backwards when I was in remedial.
So fast forward to Algebra in a high school specializing in classical education....I start thinking....wow....all of this learning...all of this freedom....no more need to continue with the "head down - eyes forward" modus operandi. Wow...I was rather wrong....I grasp the basic concepts of algebra....and begin processing the answers in my head. It turns out....that the answers were not the important part of the lesson....hmmm? No....understanding how you got to the answers was the important part. And wouldn't you know....I had very little understanding on how to get the answer....I learned the process....used the process in my head and delivered the answer.....again I got tired of doing the problems over and over and over again....I even demonstrated for the teacher that my method was not cheating as she suspected....she called me to the board and gave me problems at random in front of the class....and simply by understanding what I was looking at....I was able to deliver my answers without showing my work....as was required.
Surely....that experience demonstrated to her that it was not necessary to show work? Ahhhhh.....repeating algebra in the extended learner version....said otherwise.
Hearing and getting those types of responses from people I ignored the thoughts. I eliminated theories from my realm of questioning....and with them my dialog with the unknown.
I am really enjoying reconnecting with my theories and thoughts and practices....that I abandoned due to the perspectives of others. And well....here it is....unearthed....wow this is a hugely powerful challenge and process....it never stops amazing me and opening my eyes to the beauty of....me....of this place....of this time....of the known....of the unknown.....of wonder and amazement.....beauty all around.....
So much so that it makes me want to shake people until they see it too!!!!!!!! hahahaha!!!!!!!!!
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