So, just one day after I set these inner intentions to be more focused on my internal world and clearing it out, I have one of the worst days ever, emotionally. What I went through yesterday can only be described as a deep emotional cleansing process. I really did my best to try to ignore what I was feeling and put it out of my head, but I had a pounding headache all that day that wanted my attention and it was impossible to think straight. All this emotion toward my boyfriend (who is currently overseas for 5 months without me) began bubbling up inside of me and I began typing an email. I was so emotional I was shaking.
I left work early and came home and cried and cried and cried. My eyes look terrible today. But I knew I had to process whatever was going on inside of me. I wrote him a very intense and honest email, but I was too scared to send it as I felt it would really hurt him. So, I sent it to my girlfriend for her advice and seeing she could not get back to me I had to wait overnight before sending it. I am so glad I did! I woke up today to a really nice email from him. I still feel very strongly about what I wrote to him, but I do not know if he really needs to receive it. I will see. I think the biggest part was the emotional release for me.
I watched a clip on ascension last night before I went to bed. It was talking about how our bodies are taking in more light and moving to higher vibrations and so we cannot hold low and negative vibrations in our body anymore. We have to release them. Yesterday I felt like I just processed and cleansed a HUGE amount of emotion. I feel very weary today as a result, but it had to be done. I can tell that this was not just me being emotional. Something took me over yesterday and this was very much out of my control.
The other thing the ascension video talked about was learning to listen to your body when it needs rest. Apparently when we get colds and flu’s our bodies are asking us to rest, and it is in that rest time that we integrate and process what it is we are needing to learn. If we were not forced to stop due to our sickness we would never take the time to stop and acknowledge what needed to be healed inside of us. That is definitely what needed to happen yesterday. If it was not for my headache, I would have tried to ignore this emotion for sure.
So that is where I am at. I am only a few days off my 29th birthday and I can tell I am definitely being pushed to cleanse and heal so I can move on to higher and finer vibrations as part of my Saturn Return.
I hope things begin to calm down soon
Love and Light