Suddenly I see life is wonderful.
Continuing the blogging, the commitment and the report of the 100 days of co-creation (it's good to remind myself of this)...
I'm sorry for making the big posts, it's just that there's a lot going on...
Friday was a great day for me.
I woke up in time to go to college (even though I slept late), but I just couldn't manage to get to class on time. I knew I was late and I know this is part of a big process of transformation of how I deal with things and how I handle information and how I respond to life or response-ability. It was the 2nd time this happened this week. I missed my 2 english literature classes. I was just afraid to get in class late, because my teacher said he wouldn't accept it.
By the time I got to the door and realized that I woudn't make it on time and I tried to calm myself down. But I just couldn't. I felt terrible, miserable. A failure.
After that I started a dialogue with myself (outloud) but don't worry, I was alone at home (lol). I started to ask myself why that was happening: if I woke up on time, If everyone in my family was in the street and I had done everything, why did this happened? Then I moved on to a different kind of perception. Suddenly I saw me looking myself in the eye in the mirror and perceiving myself as I was was looking myself from behind me, and not from my own eyes. I perceived it was like I was actually in a real dialogue with myself, telling me what I needed to know, like I was rescuing some needed information.
I feel the whole work that I'm doing is opening myself up to receive what I want to. Dealing with the 2 types of things (duality) will be natural for me in the future, because I'm working on that. I'm working on flowing with things, the "good" and the "bad". You just have to be able to let go of the old model. To reconstruct yourself, to make the new engine work.
I was having some meeting issues with this friend of mine. We're making positive meetings once a week as a support group, to help each other in the journey of transformation, but she keeps changing the time and day we're supposed to meet, telling me ALL the excuses in the world, about time, about her mother, about her sister, about her work, about her relationships...She keeps flooding me with all this information and not focusing on the work that will make her get out of it. So friday we met and she opened up to tell me she was to confused because of those issues. We talked about lots of things and she told me she wants to be firm and keep going.
The beautiful thing about that is that we suddenly realized things are changing. I told her we have in our hands the last vase of all the ones we broke (old beliefs) and now we're on the verge of a new life. She agreed with me. And I feel like I have the energy to do it, despite my "frustrations", my will to change is bigger than all that. Yesterday I was sad, because my teacher hindered me and I felt attacked by her answer, but that won't slow me down. I'm going there.