The 100 Day Reality Challenge

 This seasons has been magical in lots of ways. This season has a been for me a big step, a huge transition. It has been good and healthy but it has been difficult as well. I notice that even good changes can be painful. I am working to be mindful of how good it feels to be free and true with myself, and willing to give up who and what I had to reach for what is true in my heart. I have made some amazing connections on my path and I have had the experiences that have made me who I am. I have received the contrast that has allowed me to chose my direction and ask myself, what do I truly want? Who do I truly wish to be connected with? What do I intend to do with my life energy? These are the deeper questions but this is where I am in my life. I intend that the next season be more about having fun and enjoying. I am grateful for this time, even the difficulties, because it has forced me to be very honest with myself about where I am and where I am going. So much change is hard. To look in to the haert with clarity is not an easy task. I find comfort in reminding myself that it wouldn't be happening if it wasn't time for change. The last few years have been amazing and I have felt a lot and changed a lot and loved a lot. I have created a lots and given a lot, and worked a lot  and produced a lot. I have pushed a lot and forced a lot and made it work a lot. Now I know that this is the part that I need to let go of. The forcer and the producer. I have forced and produced so much that I have lost myself in the process. Not completely lost myself, but misplaced my footing and forgot what it was that I wanted because I was so busy forcing and producing for other reasons outside of my own resonance and vibration. I got caught up I this idea that I "make" the world, my job, my relationship, my home better by using all my weight and force to make it that way. I am grateful for my journey. Now I know that people need to be allowed to be who they are. I can not force anyone to be closer to the ideal that I wish them to be. I can not make my relationship what I wish it to be all by myself. I can't do that. I need to totally let it go and embrace that I only have control over my own self and my own thoughts and my own vibration.  This is a delicate point, and one that I am just learning. I can only do so much for other people of if they do not choose change for themselves, little will happen to change. I need to be true with myself and find my place as a co creator of the universe, among those that also know that their true home is being completely true and listening to their heart. this is the path to a higher vibration, not trying to force others to be co creators when they do not care to do so. And to be honest with what is around you and your life, do not stay in denial because its warm and comfortable there.  This goes for my work and my relationship and I am on my way out of both of them. I knew it was coming with work, but I was still warm in denial with my relationship. But I knew better, and now I see it al clearly but it breaks my heart non the less. I am easy and relaxed with myself. I do not push myself too hard. I am kind, clear with myself. I step twords what is healthy for me and true for me and I keep all my alignment with my higher self.

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Comment by Steffie Kay on July 23, 2015 at 11:01pm

OH MAN....THANI YOU  JD and Earth Defender....I so appreciate your support you both are so very very right XOXOXO

Comment by jd quinitchette on July 17, 2015 at 8:51am

"...got caught up I this idea that I "make" the world, my job, my relationship, my home better by using all my weight and force to make it that way."

The idea that you misplaced your purpose in this process produced an "ah-ha!" moment for me as well, Steffie Kay.

I was at my son's school when it came to me that my coCreation process was like this flight of steps.  I went to school here too-- a lot, and so I know that in the mornings, when it's fresh and cool, it's really nice to trip down those steps into a new day.  In the afternoon, when the sun is blazing, and you've had a long day of tilting at windmills, that short flight can seem insurmountable.  Your post reminds me that either way, it's just a flight of steps, and what changes (beyond the passing of time) is my perception of those steps; what they represent in my mind at any given moment.  The stories I tell myself about the taking of these steps is what creates my future.  I'd better be sure I'm telling myself to step up!

Thanks for a great post.

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