It is the season to go deep and dark and in one of my groups we are being
asked to make a shadow card that represents our dark side.
Nobody likes to think of themselves as imperfect but when I think of my bad
side this is what comes up through me again and again to work with.
Normally my hair is dark brown-ish black with small red hints of auburn.
Someone recently joked about the madder I get the redder my hair gets.
IT STRUCK A CORD of deep (intense) healing that needs done on a soul level
because my ex used to hate red hair in any shade of it.
He hated seeing it on other people and he especially hated seeing it on me.
but when I use something natural like indigo or henna to color my hair,
after a time it gets a little brassy and the red rears its (ugly) head. (literally.)
I am not a red head but I still have some small issues I need to work on.
I grew up with my ex, we were together in Jr. High school and for 20 years
so I took on his patterns of disliking red hair- yes even on myself. oughghgh! I know-right?!
Why do we hide our true self because someone else came along and made us feel inadequate to be ourselves and said we needed to change something about our self in order to be more well liked by them and others?
Some things he would say that affected me deeply:
Red as a red haired stepchild
Fire head-fire crotch- about women that were bossy at his work
Q: Whats the difference between a ginger and a brick? A: At least a brick gets laid.