I had to delete all the posts surrounding my father's recent death.
The reason why will likely astound you -
Apparently, members of my own family have taken to reading my blogs and
using them against me. Not sure if they were blogs from here or MySpace but
they were apparently concerned by my mentioning the financial duress this
situation has put my brother, myself and my mother in. Not concerned enough
to actually help us out - which they haven't - but enough to judge me and assert
that I am somehow making my father look bad - in their words "making him look
like a bum" by stating the financial strain the situation has put us under.
Gross. I don't understand people sometimes.
I don't know who in their right mind has the nerve to accuse someone who has
just lost their father and who's mother is battling cancer of such things. It is truly
despicable behavior in my mind.
My father worked very hard and was very much the glue that kept this family
together. That is one of the reasons why this situation is tough. He would have been
shocked and saddened by these assertions.
I am upset with myself that I can't write this without bitterness, but I am bitter.
I am angry. But I can not change others so I will vow to make myself less judgmental.
I will vow to become more compassionate to others who are grieving in light of the
fact that my own family seems so short on compassion. I will also however, draw
boundaries and not allow people who do not show me, my brother and my mother
the love and respect as humans we deserve around me. The quotation "Go where
the Love is" is a powerful mantra.
Frustration is the catalyst to progress. I am frustrated but I am CONFIDENT that 2009 is
going to be an amazing year. Seriously.
How sad, that the egos of others in my family are so strong that they would take such
steps of inhumanity in such a time. Oh well, all you can do is pray for others. I'm not
going to stoop to anyone's level. People act strange in times of grief, maybe they'll
come around one day... until then, I accept what is.