I have a friend named Jen. She is coming out of a bad marriage. She is at that low point that all of us ladies reach at one time or another in our lives. She feels like she has hit rock bottom.
Her soon to be ex threw a bottle hitting her on her head and bruised her up during their argument.
I emailed her saying that she didn't need to take this kind of treatment from him. I advised her to get pics of the bruises and start recording all phone conversations with him. I have sent her this site link and some ideas to get her started like
"Post your favorite
afﬁrmations where you will see them every day — on your bathroom
mirror, on your refrigerator, on your desk, and so on. For thirty
days, read them aloud or repeat them silently to yourself several
times a day and before bed. Every month re-create your list and
choose new afﬁrmations to focus on. As your attitude improves, your
body and life will become what you afﬁrm."
In the meantime she usually replies publicly to me by saying things like "I am so lonely, nobody would want me" And "Why would anybody want me, and I am tired of being alone"
so I say uplifting things like "Focus on 100 things that you like about yourself" so she says "I like myself just fine it is nobody else that likes me".
Over and over again she does this.. I am starting to see a cycle going here. She posts this on facebook every other day as if seeking compliments, approval or sympathy. not sure which it is but usually friends and some fellows respond. I was responding too at first but now I see that she is trapped by her own downfalls.
I have decided to stop offering her advice because she is not really trying to do better with herself and I think she might be afraid to be alone. She has developed some co-dependent behaviors.
Seeing a friend like this has sure opened my eyes to what I have accomplished on my own path.