Is it too late for us? Are you really getting a divorce? I will fight for you, I'll do anything you say...i just can't go to a counselor. These were all the things he said to me only a few hours after my last post here. We sat down and talked for 3 1/2 hours, we shared thoughts, feelings, tears, etc. When all was said and done I told him the timeline, he knew. After silence for what seemed like eternity, but only 30 minutes he asked me to get dressed. Said he'd planned something for a week but hadn't been able to do it, he knew I was probably leaving but still had to do it.
I also showed him the books I'd bought, all self-help, etc. Told him I'd been fighting for us for 6 years and was done. If he wanted to try it would take counseling and not just for himself anymore.
On our outting he took me shopping, told me to get some shirts I would get the "I feel pretty" feeling in. Told me I was under no circumstances allowed any "Mom shirts" as he stated that's what I always get and nothing on the clearance rack. Stuff I wanted or dreamed of having. After that he told me to pick a purse, he noticed I stored everything in my jacket pockets. He grabbed earrings on our way out and off to go out to eat we went. Course this too was my favorite place, but I rarely mention it because it's one of those fancy italian places that cost money. The entire time, he held my hand or flirted. But at the end of the day I still warned him my guard is up and I knew this might just be a one night thing. That if he didn't do the help, we'd still be leaving.
I'm still putting this in the universe's hands, he still insists no counseling so it looks as this will only go one way. But I'm going to let him in just a little to see what he does. His attitude is changing but I've seen this all before and told him so, to which he responded yes but he had no clue it was this serious and that he will continue to fight for me and show me that he really does care.
So this week is all about me, I'm reading my books still and just trying to hear the universe. Thank you all for your emails and your messages, they've meant a lot. i just wasn't in a place to write anything this week. I'm sure ya'll understand.