The 100 Day Reality Challenge

Is it too late for us? Are you really getting a divorce? I will fight for you, I'll do anything you say...i just can't go to a counselor. These were all the things he said to me only a few hours after my last post here. We sat down and talked for 3 1/2 hours, we shared thoughts, feelings, tears, etc. When all was said and done I told him the timeline, he knew. After silence for what seemed like eternity, but only 30 minutes he asked me to get dressed. Said he'd planned something for a week but hadn't been able to do it, he knew I was probably leaving but still had to do it.

I also showed him the books I'd bought, all self-help, etc. Told him I'd been fighting for us for 6 years and was done. If he wanted to try it would take counseling and not just for himself anymore.

On our outting he took me shopping, told me to get some shirts I would get the "I feel pretty" feeling in. Told me I was under no circumstances allowed any "Mom shirts" as he stated that's what I always get and nothing on the clearance rack. Stuff I wanted or dreamed of having. After that he told me to pick a purse, he noticed I stored everything in my jacket pockets. He grabbed earrings on our way out and off to go out to eat we went. Course this too was my favorite place, but I rarely mention it because it's one of those fancy italian places that cost money. The entire time, he held my hand or flirted. But at the end of the day I still warned him my guard is up and I knew this might just be a one night thing. That if he didn't do the help, we'd still be leaving.

I'm still putting this in the universe's hands, he still insists no counseling so it looks as this will only go one way. But I'm going to let him in just a little to see what he does. His attitude is changing but I've seen this all before and told him so, to which he responded yes but he had no clue it was this serious and that he will continue to fight for me and show me that he really does care.

So this week is all about me, I'm reading my books still and just trying to hear the universe. Thank you all for your emails and your messages, they've meant a lot. i just wasn't in a place to write anything this week. I'm sure ya'll understand.

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Comment by Donna DeVane on February 18, 2009 at 11:00am
I read a book many years ago by Speaking Wind, he said that the reason relationships don't work is because two broken people come together hoping to be made whole.
This NEVER works.
Heal yourself. Grow you.. take care of you. Everything else follows after that energy.

Love yourself well,
Comment by Kahlil on February 18, 2009 at 10:37am
thanks for your comment and I'm looking forward to reading your blogs as things continue to unfold! :-)
Comment by AUDREY on February 18, 2009 at 2:46am
Hi there! I hope you make the right decisions for yourself! Look after yourself first and the kids....and the rest will take its
Comment by Yenna on February 13, 2009 at 5:33pm
Hi there,

I have been in a similar situation in which I was in a relationship with someone I really cared for and felt something deep for, but it just wasn't working. I asked my Higher Self (or God, or whatever inspires you) to guide me to make the right decision and I knew, without a doubt, that I loved myself too much to continue a day longer with the relationship we had. I broke it off and that was the end of that. I walked away completely, setting up a boundary that looked after me first and only. And yet, over time, we remained friends and eventually became best friends. One day we took a risk and became intimate again, and in time I realized, having gotten to know him as a friend and in a completely different way, that the spark I sensed was still there and was burning even more brightly. We are now married, almost two years later, and everything that happened occured because I made the decision to look after myself first. For all I know we may never have seen each other again, but we both had growing to do and in the end we are better together. I have no idea if my story helps, but things happen for a reason. And sometimes it seems we need to walk away and detach to allow things to play out to their greatest potential.


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