The 100 Day Reality Challenge

is there positivity in the death of family members?

wow, I'm really yoyo'ing today.
I'm going from really joyous to really depressed.
OOhhhhhh...I just realized...My sister died 2 years ago yesterday.
No wonder I started feeling upset last night, amidst all the wonderful things happening.
Her death was the 3rd in my immediate family of 6 in a window of (I think?) a year's time...rest well Mom, Dad, and Ann...
no wonder...I read that the human brain can remember every event (anniversaries, for example) and the time it happened over the course of a a lifetime.
Should I mark my morbid calender for next year so don't get taken by surprise at the angel of death tapping on my shoulder? I wasn't this upset at my mother's death anniversary June 3rd.
My sister died with an aspiration tube down her throat 2 weeks after heart surgery at the age of 53, choking on her own phlem. She had not been truly healthy for a while, she was diabetic.
Coincidentally, a friend suprised me with beautiful roses yesterday. She did not know it was an anniversary, she was just showing appreciation. maybe Somebody knew I would need the roses?...mysterious...
It's a bit complicated, but I had felt somehow that Ann had been "sacrificed", and had died so I could live a better life.
Maybe this is "survivor guilt"?
I had fantasized that I was receiving energy from beyond this world. Maybe it was imagination, maybe it was real, maybe both?

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Comment by secret on July 1, 2010 at 4:06am
I was gonna post a sad blog yesterday because I miss my mom and pop so bad, I was seriously down. I opened the site today and this is the first thing that caught my eye. It was real to be receiving something from beyond, I guess they were too happy to see me okay that they wanted me to feel it, but my 'missing' them
overpowered all the happy vibes I have received. I miss my mom and pop....
Comment by Ingebirds on June 30, 2010 at 10:49pm
I am sorry that you are feeling sad. Losing a family member is tough, I don't care what anyone say, and losing 3 so fast. Remember the happy times you spent together and don't feel guilty about your sis. It was her journey not yours, she would want you to enjoy your life. The next time you see a sunrise or sunset or the stars in the sky think of you family, they are in a different energy space and are happy. Celebrate their lives. xo Inge

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