Manifesting clothes I love has been a real challenge (in part due to ugly fashion, but never mind) in the last year or two. At times I was willing to pay a ridiculous amount for some pants if only they would look good on me. Nothing. I was beyond frustrated and beating the drum of bad fashion, lousy cuts and ill-fitting pants. For months and months and months! (It's okay to laugh, I can LOL about it now;)
Let me tell you two very different clothes-related stories and then tell you about my new clothes ;)
Many years ago an artist friend of mine went and bought herself an expenisive Armani
leatherjacket. Neither she nor her artist husband had a steady income or some kind of steady prospects. He would sometimes do odd jobs.They did have a little son to feed and an apartment and a studio to pay rent on.
didn't understand her then. It's not rational to put down a few hundred bucks in her situation, is it? But man, did she love that jacket! That jacket looked stunning on her! I can imagine how it made her feel. Fabulous!
When resources are limited, one learns to make do and to live in the box. Human beings are super-adaptable, it's a smart trait, a survival skill. Survival isn't the endgame, though.
So why did I mention the above survival skill? Because it can become a habit, it becomes second nature. If you can't afford to buy anything there, it seems stupid to enter an upscale boutique and browse the merchandise. What if you see something you love and then can't buy it? Wouldn't it make you feel miserable? Instead of aspiring to be fabulous, we often fall into the trap and "aspire" to nothing more than to pay our bills. That's so sad and totally discouraging and counter-productive. That survival skill is a dreamkiller! Without dreams
and wishes we're toast. Absolutely nothing to get excited about, nothing that makes us jump out of bed in the morning, eager to greet the day with a big smile.
Another friend of mine had quite an extensive and beautiful
wardrobe and sometimes I borrowed something to wear to the office. Was she rich? No. She was a single mother of two and worked as an admin. assistent. How did she do it? She never paid full price for any of her goodies. Never! And I don't mean that in the Ross-dress-for-less or last-season stuff or "with slight imperfections" kind of sense. It was ridick how she would always find the most amazing clothes on sale! And everything fit her perfectly! Like magic. Plus, she wears - like me - the most popular size which is usually sold out even before the stores start putting certain models on sale.
I tried. I walked into stores with the intent to find pants and blouses in my price range that fit well and look good. Forget it. As mentioned before, not even after Christmas with a fatter than usual wallet. I felt cursed. Did I need to work out again, was my shape somehow off? Were the designers all idiots who cut their pants for men rather than women? I hated hated hated every second of the clothes-ordeal.
Recently I went to one of the better department stores and browsed. This time I started with looking for blouses and when I found one that was fashion-forward, cute, priced right and did fit me very well, I was very happy. Really excited.
It's also kind of long, so I told myself: Okay, now I'm going to buy pants. Good thing the blouse is long, so it will cover any imperfections pants might have (note: not desperately looking for perfect fit! Let go of that!)
I browsed and came to one of my fave fashion labels. There was a sale. Pants 50 % off! I started to get really excited and talked to Abraham. Come on, Abraham, that pant in my size! There it was, seemingly cut the way I wanted. I tried it on - it fit perfectly. Per-fect-ly! BUT - there were black spots that didn't come off.
I walked back and searched again, allthewhile talking to Abraham. Come on, there is another one just like it without any stains, in my size! And there it was. The saleswoman advised me to try this one on, too, because it might not fit the same... I didn't. I trusted it was just perfect. On the way to cashier I picked up some inexpensive summer jewelry, just for fun.To celebrate my new outfit, my success. How happy was I? Totally over the moon.
I guess that's how my large-wardrobe friend does it. She said she just browses and happens to find her pieces. I guess she looks at merchandise and admires it, thinks Wouldn't it be nice and so on. And she doesn't walk into the store desperate and hating it. Lesson learned.