The 100 Day Reality Challenge

He says until he can get the money to leave, he doesn't have anywhere else to go and he needs time to get something else.  Honestly, I believe he is trying to guilt me or trap me or make his issue my problem.  I don't want to be cold toward him, but I honestly don't think he understands when I am being diplomatic or kind or thoughtful - I think he takes advantage of me.  His staying here is his way of using his name being on the lease to his advantage and it really has nothing to do with whether he could find somewhere else to go.  I think it is unfair that he is choosing to continue to be around me and my children simply because it is convenient and comfortable for him to do that.

I don't want to take away from the fact that the kids did get to play with him and get to know him, they did, and it will be an adjustment to separate them from that, but it was wrong for him to work on his relationship with my children and prioritize that over a relationship with me.  This, to me, proves beyond all else that he is not right for me and that he does not have my best interest in mind.  This is why I don't want him here.  I believe that he wants me to just get with the program because the kids are used to him and I think that is underhanded and deceitful.

He could choose to live with any of his siblings or aunts until he got the money for his own place and no one would tell him he couldn't do that.  I think he's choosing to continue to impose on me because I can't force him to get out when his name is on the lease.  I feel like he's tried to trap me and he's using whatever he can to continue this situation.

I moved my 6 year old into the master bedroom with me and put all of my ex's stuff in my son's room until he leaves.  I want to try to separate him as much as I can.  I just wish that there was something else I could do.

Tamara

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Comment by Tamara Rasheed on July 9, 2014 at 10:43am

Thank you :) 

Comment by Yogini Jeni on July 9, 2014 at 10:40am

Lilou's latest interview with Robert Ohotto is all about intuition and is very inspiring: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ShWd6vkj04

Comment by Tamara Rasheed on July 9, 2014 at 10:30am

I feel like I knew better when the lease was being signed.  This is the pattern with men that I have to recognize and learn how to break.  I need to follow my first mind, listen to my intuition and make better decisions that break these unhealthy patterns.

Comment by Yogini Jeni on July 9, 2014 at 10:27am

This sounds like a very difficult situation. I'm so sorry you are going through this. :( 

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