My Thoughts for today
I awoke this morning in the wee hours with some good ideas. Sometimes I do my best thinking when I am asleep!
When I have a problem I go into a deep sleep and go to a favorite spot I like to call the thinking beach. It is a beautiful beach scene that I saw in a movie once and I decided to incorporate it into my thoughts as a processing center for my worries and doubts. I pretend in my dream that I live in that beautiful beach house and walk down the steps to my own private oasis. There is a warm relaxing fire built in front of me and I have a comfortable blanket wrapped around my shoulders to ward off the cool evening breeze. The sand is thick and I use it as my own personal beanbag chair and sink myself down into it comfortably. I then allow my mental processors to begin working their magic.
As I sit here and focus on the things that are taking my attention away from creating and manifesting I realize the guy I am seeing has had the largest part of my focus. Mostly in negative ways. I can't make plans to do things with him always sucking the last good spurts of my money,energy, and time away from me. It is too much him in my universe of reality.
I clear my focus and begin to think about ways in which I have come to be in this position.
My life has been designed for my own comfort and joy but lately I am just not feeling it. I think this has manipulated my life in ways I don't approve of.
Navigating my life a day at a time lately. Trying not to focus on anything negative so I am going to have to meditate more and pay more attention to my awareness. This week I have been teaching my daughter about awareness through fun games of "what am I doing right now."
My navigation skills might be in need of a refresher course right now while I try to think my way out of this financial crises he has put me in. I need to go back to focusing on the things I like and enjoy.
In addition to getting my original creative thoughts back I need to focus my attention on what things I can do to correct the situation and my life instead of what I can't do right now.
1.) I have a warm shelter over my head.
2.) I am thankful for the van I drive.
3.) I have a family that I love and care for.
4.) I have had the same best friend since I was five years old.
5.) I make friends easily and love meeting new people.
6.) I have always wanted to move to the west. I have Annie Oakly dreams.
7.) I have manifested all sorts of things including homes and love in the past. I can do it again.
8.) I have been to school for NLP, I can rethink my life.
9.) I can find active ways to clean ALL of the clutter from out of my life.
10.) I have plenty of time. I am young and in fairly good health so I am not going anywhere. I do not need to let these problems worry me today or tomorrow.
My thoughts are not limited to just one per day so why should I worry and be so afraid. I can feel free to change them to whatever I wish. If I wish to create a set of default thinking waves that appear every day through affirmations then this is what I must do.
Things that have had my attention for this year
1.) Losing everything, worrying over the monthly bills and great amount of debt my guy has caused me that I just cannot pay. Now I have to see an attorney to contemplate bankruptcy. Living in a constant state of adrenalin with him. It is not healthy.
2.) The neighbor moving and getting me to help him. Although I enjoy his friendship this took far too much time and is still currently sucking me dry because he constantly says he is coming to pick up the rest of his stuff stored here and he hasn't in 6 months.
3.) Another friend stored stuff here while she got her life straightened out and she needs to come get it too.
4.) My health seems to be getting worse instead of better, I need an eye exam and hope to afford it, and even though I am eating healthy and exercising, and meditating twice daily I am still having pains here and there.
5.) My daughter's inability to follow simple directions that I give to her.
6.) My mother's health fluctuating the way mine has been doing. Colds, flu's, high blood pressure, going back and forth to the doc and hospital is taking their tole on me.
7.) Not being able to complete the writing and projects that I had planned of my own due to lack of resources,lack of time, lack of energy, and lack of motivation.
8.) Being a mother, a caregiver, a worker and employee, supporter, friend, listener to everyone else but not creator or manifester.
9.) Other things constantly trying to suck my attention away from what I think is important.
10.) Excessive negative values and arguments with the guy I am seeing.
11.) Excessive spam and emails that I have to purge every day.
Those are just few of the features of the things I need to correct before I get re- started on manifesting.
Here is a list of other features I would like
1.) Create and publish as many of the books that I can. I have about six or seven. Some I have been working on since the early 90's but have never gotten around to finishing them.
2.) Find out from a medical doctor what is going on with my daughter. I have taken her to a few doctors already but non will diagnose her with hyperactive disorder. They simply say give her outside time and it will fix itself. She cannot sit still for even a bedtime story and outside play does nothing to tire her out. She chapter skips through every movie we try to watch. She is constantly moving in fast forward. It is very draining.
3.) Begin looking for a new and better relationship that I am more in vibrational match too.
4.) Rekindle old relationships with friends from school, actively participate in their lives by keeping the friendships alive once I find them again! Explore other dating options....Possibly someone I knew from school is single and looking to date a really great person like me. I dated a few nice guys in school so maybe we can hook back up. I might not be as isolated as I think I am.
5.) Build a master schedule so I can keep up with what needs done and when it needs done. Who needs to do it what-where- and why.
6.) Learn more about buying a large camper that runs off of both electric and propane as well as saving up for a solar cell panel for it and placing it on the Colorado property if this place doesn't work out as a master back-up plan.
7.) I am not my feelings. Worry is just an emotion and I can change it at will.
8.) I will take active steps toward getting my own home for MY property, not continue to fix up someone elses while I live there.
9.) I would like to own my own boat.
10.) I would like to complete my new plans by the end of 2009.
11.) Get additional help from friends by talking about what is going wrong and releasing the negative energy out of my subconscious.
Wanna chat about it?