Today I bought a journal that I will be using as some sort of mini vision board. Yes, I stole this idea, but I totally love it!! I also bought some gluestick, scissors, and felt-tips (?) in 30 colours. This will add greatly to the coloured crayons I already have. I am currently working on a picture that has - as most other pictures I ever drew/painted - a very "surrealistic" touch to it. I love it so far!
I also did a lot of research concerning possible apprenticeships today, but I somehow always get back to the same ... Also stumbled over a mass of pictures I collected for my vision board. Since the printer is not working right now, I might just paint them down and either glue the results into the journal/onto the vision board or I will immediately paint it onto those. Actually, I like this idea much better than only collecting stuff and putting it in there. I also want to add to my gratitude journal, which will be connected to the actual "vision journal", every day. This is very important to me. At least one point per day :).
I am looking forward to showing the journal to you, but since the printer is also the scanner ... I don*t know. I should just take photos of that, then! (NO EXCUSES ANYMORE!! MWAHAHA!)
Okay, now on to the "planning". I must say I usually really hate plans, as this is connected to stress immediately for me, and the more and the better the goals I have for a day are, the worse is my approach to them, IF I approach them at all. This is bad and I know it. So I will not say "On day #1, I will do this and that!" and plan every single move, BUT! maybe I should make weekly goals. And change my attitude towards being much more playful, trying out new things and so on. Overall, there are so many things I can do in order to make my life happier :
(BECOME A MUSICIAN/SINGER)
I find it very important to be creative musically, and it comes naturally to me usually. I do use programs sometimes, but I am working on being able to write down what is going on in my mind, too. I want to get better at hearing and recognizing tones, too. As long as it is fun to me, I will keep disciplined!
(COMPOSE MORE SONGS/WRITE MORE LYRICS)
Actually, I want to create a homepage in order to present me musically. I know what usually helps me to get creative. Sometimes it is the sounds of nature (birds singing, hammering of the neighbours (VERY natural!), etc.), sometimes it is pictures, and if nothing helps, I do either collages of things on my mind, OR I write down whatever comes to my mind (as advised in "The Sixth Sense"). To me this is very helpful. Also, there is another challenge I would like to take part in that is taking place in FEBRUARY. :)
(BE MORE CREATIVE)
I*d love to ... paint, draw, write stories (all kinds), I had an idea for a screenplay recently that I want to write down, write poetry, design and make hairfalls, make a radio show, design and make clothes, design and make homepages, ... I had several ideas for books, for example. And I like doing "creative jam sessions", too (e. g. listening to a certain song and painting whatever I connect to this, or seeing a picture and writing a story about it, etc.). This is mainly to remind me of my possible actions :). I can do it~!
This is mainly in order to be able to sing better, but also ... I want to lose weight. And I love doing sports, I love being active, even though I am still an introvert by choice. I love several workouts I have seen, and I would love to try some sports ... Especially related to dancing (industrial dancing, parapara, hiphop dancing, bellydancing, jazz dance, ...), but I also like skating (inline skating), and being outside. I would like to have a bike again to ride it frequently. I would also love to start swimming again (I really have to overcome my self-consciousness at this point, I know it!), and I once did some training concerning karate that I would like to try again. Taking long walks rocks, too!
(FIND A JOB)
I am currently not allowed to do that, for a stupid reason (health-related). It really bores me, and I want to talk to the people who decide about this in order to get at least the "OKAY" for working part-time or a little less than those hours then. I want to keep being myself, as in, changing who I am for others is no option. I know I am a friendly person (!!!), and I know I am much better than I often think I am. Having a job would help me greatly, not only money-wise. I would feel more relaxed again, too. And I like helping other people, too ... (I would like to do volunteer work along with that, if possible somehow. Maybe in an animal shelter or with old people ... I don*t know yet.)
I won*t explain now how I got there, as it is a very complicated and long story and it would make me feel both depressed and angry then, and I don*t want that. All I know is that NOW, I am overweight, and I need to reduce my weight in order to live a healthier life, to not be at risk for certain diseases, etc. I do love food, but I also love trying out new things. Combining this, I can work out some recipes from all kinds of countries in order to figure out what tastes best :). I found a great site about this already (with lots and lots of vegetarian/vegan meals from all around the world). INSPIRATION IS EVERYTHING!!
(LEARN TO BE MYSELF)
I will not go into details, but at some point of my life, I had the clear feeling I somehow lost myself along the track. Trying out new things I always wanted to have/do/whatever is also a path for me to getting in tune with myself again. I loveloveLOVE all kinds of things (alternative hair, make-up & clothing, piercings, tattoos, ...), but it is also important to me to not hide in all the stuff I just despise in order to feel "save". So I somehow need to get out of here, and (learn to?) be happy.
FINDING love - is this even possible? I will give it a try. I know that keeping an open mind is the most important thing to do here. I want to feel happy and whole again, and I do have to admit being a little romantic (though not in the sense that I like "standardized romance", BUT! spontaneous actions in which I realize that person and I are made for each other are purely romantic to me. That is my real definition of "romantic", and not e. g. eating in a restaurant on the beach riding on a white horse while the sun is going down and the waves are gently stroking the sand.).
... And that was all really.
So, staying open-minded, being playful, yet determined is the key for me. :) I will go now and work on the gratitude journal/vision journal ^__~. Have a nice day and take care~!!