Relationships

A relationship is a two-person involvement requiring two individuals who have their own perspective of the world and the way it works to come together in harmony and unison for intimacy, communication, sharing, and joy of one another through companionship. Relationships are meant to be joyful. Extracting the confines of the institution of marriage (especially in America), you have this genuine desire for the commitment to be together and to enjoy the joys and pains of being human beings together. Speaking strictly of the relationship itself, and not the labels put on the relationship outside of it just being what it is, it is supposed to be something that draws you, that heals you, and that encourages the growth of both individuals equally.

When relationships do not work, there typically has been a compromise in the happiness of one of the individuals in that relationship to some affect. The issue with compromise is that it often creates an idea that one of those individuals has to be less happy than the other in order for that relationship to work. The reality is that if your compatibility is right, the compromises you will need to make should not be so dramatic that either person has to sacrifice the prospect of pursuing their happiness in order to be a part of it. Working together as a unit, your goal is to help one another achieve the growth and happiness necessary to feel completely in your entirety - not for one person to be hendered while the other person succeeds, and not for both persons to be stunted in growth to prevent arguments. This is not a healthy relationship.

In order to achieve an ideal relationship, you have to recognize that you are a vital piece of the relationship puzzle. Anything you seek in desperation and obsession will not bring you happiness. It pushes your desires further away to be obsessed and desperate. Allow yourself clarity about what it is you truly do want from a relationship, and it will be drawn to you as you attract all things that are good and to your best interest through the Universe.

Also, your particular phase of growth in your life at any given time is what attracts individuals of like minds and like circumstances (reflections of you) into your life. Which is why if you work on yourself first, you will automatically attract the person best suited for where you are. Your relationships are a product of your mindset at the time that they were there. It is difficult for us to accept responsibility for this.

The institution of marriage in America creates a label of patriarchal hierarchy which perpetuates that women are less than men. The divorce rate is over 50% in America, which means that divorce is seen as a solution for problems before consulting a family pastor or marriage counselor. The institution of marriage in America is flawed because we are unable to see one another as equal assets to be built upon through the contract of marriage. Marriage is desired, but you have to build a relationship up to a point to sustain a marriage. Many people believe that relationships = marriage, and that is not true.

Focus on yourself and you will attract your proper mate. Build upon one another in your relationship because you are equally important. If you are leaving your happiness behind for your relationship, you have outgrown your relationship. Your partner should take your insights and emotions seriously, because they are coming from your perspective - the only perspective that you have to work with - and vice versa. You both have your own truths. Combine your truths and there will be harmony.

Much Love,
Tamara