Seven days into this challenge and I feel like I've had the greatest "aha moment" of my life. Yesterday I watched the Secret. I had seen it a year or so ago but didn't really take it seriously. I didn't doubt the message but the people in the video turned me off at the time. Since then I feel like I've dropped interest in judging people/things and this time I kept having "aha moments" and "ooh ooh, I know that's true"!!! I've also been reading "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent" by Abraham-Hicks and I feel like I've absorbed it intellectually but didn't truly feel my guidance system unless something was wrong. I watched a series of interviews w/Esther & Abraham on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FApT-gSPeg) which were great and actually seeing and hearing the message made it more real to me.
Today I was whiling away in the tub (I'm a diver/Pisces/water person and I do all of my best thinking/healing in the tub;) and started thinking about money. It's not something I was trying to manifest bc I feel like I'm doing okay, though I am unemployed. Also I feel like if I consciously think about money my "growing up catholic/poverty is a virtue" issues come up and if I don't, what I need seems to come pretty easily. Anyway it occurred to me to ask for money and in doing so I realized asking for myself would never bring about that feeling I get in my stomach when I'm excited or inspired by something. But then I just started saying: I want 25 million dollars so I can pay off my sister's mortgage, I want 25 million dollars so I can buy my brother and sister-in-law a house, I want 25 million dollars so my niece and nephew (they are due to be born this month!!) can go to whatever school they want, I want 25 million dollars so my parents and all of my aunts can retire, I want 25 million dollars so I can send my parents to Italy, I want 25 million dollars so I can pay off my best friend's student loans, I want 25 million dollars so I can continue on in my travels....While I was doing it my eyes welled up and I felt FABULOUS!!! Boy I would love to be able to do all of that. Even just writing it down now I feel goosebumps and my stomach is just beaming joy and love from me. I don't know if I'll be able to replicate this feeling for other things I want for myself (love, family, home) but I feel like now I know what it's supposed to feel like.
I didn't need help to believe in all of this, I know it works. A good example is in February I had a vivid dream about diving and when I woke up I decided to look into how much it would be to get my Instructor's cert from the diving school where I became a divemaster. Later that morning I got an email from the Instructor that teaches that course (I hadn't contacted him yet) saying that someone had dropped out of the staff trip to the Galapagos and did anyone want the spot? UM!!! I had the dream, got an invite from the Instructor that I had decided to contact but hadn't yet and I so KNEW that this was my spot. But it was waay too expensive as I have no job. I figured I'd ask about the details anyway. It turned out that I could afford the trip bc I was getting a decent tax return right about that time and now I'm going diving this June which no one can believe.
Another example is this house that I saw a year ago. I invest in residential real estate on the side and this building is perfect bc it has four apartments with separate utilities so my expenses as a landlord would only be taxes, insurance and maintenance. I went to look at it and fell in love. I worked the numbers and the house would more than pay for itself eventually but though the asking price was reasonable I still couldn't afford it. As I was trying to figure out how I could buy it, my realtor called to say the seller now needed a short sale bc he was going to lose the house. I couldn't do anything at the time and the house foreclosed, the tenants were evicted and I watched it for months but it wasn't coming back on the market. This past January it was listed again but now it was over 50% less and the price was low enough that I could borrow the money from family as I couldn't get a mortgage w/out a job. I made an offer, closed and now am looking for tenants. Logically there is no way I should have this house. I had no job, very little savings and no reason to think I could go out and buy ANY house, let alone my dream house. But when I saw it last year I KNEW it would be mine. I didn't know how or when and I didn't think it would take a full year but the universe took my dream and made it affordable to me. Two amazing things have happened to me this year that according to society's version of "reality" should not have been possible. At every level of my being I know this stuff works.
My experience today wasn't about making me believe. I think it was a step towards understanding my role, how this all works or how it feels when I'm in alignment with my desire. I suppose we'll see what manifests, but honestly it felt so good just asking I feel like that's the fun in all of this and the manifestation will just be a bonus. That sounds NUTS and a world away from how I felt at the beginning of this adventure so I'm quickly writing this all down so I don't forget today's lesson!!
Gratitude time!!! It goes without saying that I am SO SO very grateful for this experience and this wonderful group that I believe is bringing out the best in me:) Big big big big love to all of you!!