Three years since I stumbled upon ccor. Two years since I let season two trail off unfinished. My failings and goals are the same. I want love. I want to be a strong and stable partner to someone for the long run. I want someone to enjoy having a family and growing old together.
Both times I focused on this, I got what I wished for, two wonderful men. Both relationships failed because I don't know how to be open once I fall in love. I hold back and begin to lose myself in whomever I'm with. Something that annoys me when I've been on the receiving end, but still can't seem to control in myself.
This time I want to be strong and confident enough to remain wide open. I want to love but remain detached, trusting that we can work and build a blissful life together. No fear, no doubt. Just positive hope.
I'm in a random Asian city that is not where I want to be. Today has been a rock bottom kind of day,but I'm grateful Bc there is nowhere to go but up. I'm also so grateful that ccor popped into my world again. Looking forward to being enveloped in positive vibes:)