Wow, I can't believe i'm more than half way through this season! It's been over a week since i've last written a blog, and it feels like time has slipped away. I'm just blown away! I feel like i still haven't settled into this season.... that's funny isn't it, esp now that I realise i'm more than half way through it.
well, it hasn't been the best week for me. I've been pretty emotional (don't you hate being a women n our hormones sometimes?). My hubby has been away for work (comes back tomorrow) and I have been very unfocused with my eating. so it really hasn't been the best. A friend of mine called it a 'stage'. she said i'm going through a stage and i'll get back into the groove of things again. It felt good to hear that. So, whether this is a stage or just an excuse, I like tagging it as a stage because it's made me feel less helpless. It's actually helped me focus better (this is probably weird to hear). So, my motto at the moment has been to 'minimise the damage' and i'm finding that's given me power and control. I love it. so i've been better focused as a result of accepting the stage and looking at what i can do within it to make it not so bad. it's really worked for me. go figure!!
so today has been up and down. i've had good moments and bad moments but i'm just thinking about minimising the damage and jumping back onto the bandwagon. it's working, as best as it can.
tomorrow is going to be ok too. it's exercise day so i'll be better focused (yes, i've maintained the exercise... it's like the only thing i've been doing properly). i'll be up'ing the intensity tomorrow a little. i'm pretty excited about that! i'm going to do the best i can with food and just remember to drink lots of water. Water has been a godsend for me :)
hubby comes back tomorrow so i'm just really looking forward to it. not sure of the time yet but, it'll be wonderful just to have him here with me.
ok, hubby gratitude time.
he's away at the moment so this'll be short.
- i'm grateful he called last night. they were at 'after-conference-after-dinner-drinks', as you do, and he actually stepped aside for about 1/2 to call me. He said that he'd a few glasses and planned to have a few more, so wanted to call me before he either got too tired, too drunk, or just fell asleep. that's soo sweet.
- i'm grateful he is always looking to improve himself, with how he treats me. i mean, he's wonderful, he treats me so well but he believes he can do better. last night, he told me that he's been thinking about how he can unwind without it being forced onto our time. see, atm he unwinds by going on the computer and allows his mind to switch off totally. he's realised that this means he's away from me (although he's physically there with me). i thought that was so sweet. i mean, every man i've ever heard of, switches off when they come home. they've got their own method but they all do it. how wonderful is he that he wants to find a way of doing it so it's not affecting me. very sweet!
- i'm grateful i got to hear his voice. i was really really missing him. i have been feeling really bad for the way i've been lately (hate being hormonal!!!). i am not too bad but it's not my usual self. i felt guilty since i only had 1 day with him between these 2 trips n i pretty much blew it cos i was a little moody. so i really needed to hear his voice. it was so good! so loving! so sweet! first i cried, then i felt a million times better, and i've just had a brilliant day today! i really think that's because i got to hear his voice and have a lovely chat. he's so sweet!
- i'm grateful he's reassuring. See, my parents had a very unloving marriage and they were divorced when i was 7 (don't get me wrong, it was the best thing they did by divorcing because that marriage was totally dead. they should've done it earlier). It meant that i grew up never seeing or knowing a good healthy marriage. The families we were close with were not the best examples. I didn't want to model my future on what i saw. So, it's been so wonderful that my hubby found me. I'm happier now than i've ever been in my entire life, it just keeps getting better. The only down side is that i'm frightened of losing it or that i'll somehow ruin it. So when i do things like get overly emotional or moody, anything that makes me feel bad/guilty I get frightened that i'm ruining it. He mentioned it on the phone n reassured me that I shouldn't worry, that he's never leaving me. That made me cry. I was so grateful to hear that. To hear that he feels just as in love with me, and just as determined to have this relationship. i just needed to hear that. I needed to hear his voice sounding firm and resolved, that he's here, he's with me. I'm so grateful i got it. It made me feel so good. i'm grateful i have him! I could going with this point but I think i've talked enough about it :)
- i'm grateful he's thoughtful. when we got off the phone, we mentioned speaking about the same time (ie, 8pm). he sent a txt msg through to let me know he won't be able to chat for another hour, n if that was ok. he's so sweet! At least i know things are happening on that end n he just can't talk. very thoughtful