quite some news to report. You all have seen that one of my goals this season is to finalize my bachelor paper. By the time I wrote these goals I was finished with it handed it. Unfortunately I got the bad news that I did not pass which was on my 3rd day. Obviously I was devastated, mad, and highly disappointed with myself. However I saw myself reacting in a different way as I usually, much calmer, looking at things in a realistic way and absolutely sober. That feeling was kinda nice and I think I have to be thankful to my meditation that I have been doing for the last 2 weeks. It made me actually see the positive side of not passing the paper: instead of a just pass I can actually improve to have a very good grade which would bring my overall degree up.
I like this new outlook in life. Instead of spending the rest of the week, crying about it, hate myself for it and keep procrastinating, I took the matters in my own hands and started on the paper right away.
Yesterday however I felt quite sick, no energy, strong headache and a pretty bad cold which is still there. I took a day off to rest, because I think I was overwhelmed after all. I now feel better, had enough energy to work on the changes today and made a decision to plan my days different, more like today.
Usually I write a To-Do list what I have to do today and keep failing on that. Today I had a different approach instead of feeling regulated by my list I took responsibility for the day. I know all the things I need to do without writing it down, I know what is important. So before I do an activity I think about "Do I really need to do it right now, or is there something more important I need/want to finish?" So before I just feel overwhelmed by the list I created in the evening before or the very same morning I take decision consciously and stand by it. If I watch TV then it means that I weighed the options, took a decision and feel good about it.
I ended up doing more important things in one day that I used to do in 2-3 days. I am very proud of that and will continue to apply this method. Taking responsibility for my actions and co-creating my life I am proud of.